Read on Twitter
I wrote this from the heart. It’s about this year of losses, about losing my dad from a distance, and about feeling alive and mourning at work. I’ll do a little thread… (1/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
I lost my dad the day he lost his work. He died suddenly on a warm September morning, on what had long been his way to work. (2/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
It was a day he had long been dreading, the first of his retirement. His heart broke as he drove to empty his office. I was in mine, 1,500 miles away, when I learned that the day I had long been dreading had arrived. (3/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
For twenty years, I knew that day could come. His heart was wobbly. When I had imagined that day, I had always feared having to face one question. “Do you regret living so far away that you could not be there when he died?” (4/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
But when two relatives asked me point blank, the day he died, I felt little regret. My dad and I had loved each other well enough. We had not left much unsaid. Even from far away, we knew where to find each other—at work. (5/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
On my dad’s desk, I found a pile of my articles and essays, turned into broken Italian by Google translate, printed, and underlined. I thought, one day I’ll put you in one. This is that day. (6/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
It’s been a year of losses, lived and feared. We have lived worrying that someone we love, now distant, might die alone. We worry about losing jobs, and opportunities to be with each other. (7/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
Hearing a Christmas song, someone told me the other day, brought them to tears. I’m not surprised. “All I want for Christmas is you” takes on a whole different meaning, for those who have suffered loss. That is, most of us this year. (8/16) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
Hearing a Christmas song, someone told me the other day, brought them to tears. I’m not surprised. “All I want for Christmas is you” takes on a whole different meaning, for those who have suffered loss. That is, most of us this year. (8/16) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
It’s been a year of loss, and grief is everywhere. But we have nowhere to mourn, except online. So I wanted to write about how to make space for mourning at a distance, especially at work. (9/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
When my dad died, I found some comfort in work, and at work. My work was very difficult that year. But it was still there. And it reminded me that so was I. (10/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
Writing this piece helped me realize that my dad gifted me a mystery. He sparked my interest in people’s experience of work, the place work has in our lives. If I wanted to get him, to find him, to be close to him, I had to look at work. (11/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
My dad was most present and caring at work. He loved sharing his work, not hiding in it. Work had been his salvation, the place he felt alive. It had also scared and disappointed him. (12/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
That’s where I first learned that work could hurt you and make you feel alive, that love and loss where wrapped up in it, if you looked closely enough. I’ve kept looking all these years. (13/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
This is not a traditional @harvardbiz piece. I'm grateful to @agwieckowski for holding me through its long gestation. And I'll be grateful if you read and share it, if you believe we need space to share losses at work. (14/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
Loss always makes us remote. This year, that we have lost loved ones, work, and proximity to each other, even more so. It takes enough space to come back together, and to life. (15/15) https://hbr.org/2020/12/make-space-for-grief-after-a-year-of-loss
