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Long thread, but bear with me:
Our country isn't doing well, is it? What with Covid, Brexit, and so on.
We haven't covered ourselves in glory lately.
Sorry to be negative - and I know that nowadays, if you apologise for Britain, you get called unpatriotic.
But I don't care.
Our country isn't doing well, is it? What with Covid, Brexit, and so on.
We haven't covered ourselves in glory lately.
Sorry to be negative - and I know that nowadays, if you apologise for Britain, you get called unpatriotic.
But I don't care.
Because if Brits can't be apologetic, I'm not sure what our point is.
'Sorry' is the most British word in the English language - which is the language we gave the world.
And if being British means anything, it means having the ability to be embarrassed, and to accept failure.
'Sorry' is the most British word in the English language - which is the language we gave the world.
And if being British means anything, it means having the ability to be embarrassed, and to accept failure.
A keen sense of shame, of our comical Mr Bean-like ridiculousness, was always our superpower - even back when we were a superpower.
I think perhaps we sunk so low in part because of Trump - we could always deflect our shame, by pointing to him.
I think perhaps we sunk so low in part because of Trump - we could always deflect our shame, by pointing to him.
For as long as he was in power, we could always argue the point of who was the biggest embarrassment.
But come January, that excuse is gone.
America will move on, and she too will look at us with the contempt we deserve.
We will be the village idiots of the world.
But come January, that excuse is gone.
America will move on, and she too will look at us with the contempt we deserve.
We will be the village idiots of the world.
So I think the patriotic thing to do is admit the painfully obvious fact that we are a bit rubbish these days, and try to understand why, so we can find a way to be less rubbish.
Because this just isn't good enough, and flag-waving will only make us look more ridiculous.
Because this just isn't good enough, and flag-waving will only make us look more ridiculous.
I don’t really know what went wrong with Britain - but I personally don’t think it was something fundamentally wrong about us as a culture.
Look at New Zealand, look at Canada - they seem to be doing rather well. They seem to be putting us to shame.
And they're our children.
Look at New Zealand, look at Canada - they seem to be doing rather well. They seem to be putting us to shame.
And they're our children.
They are like new, improved versions of what we still pretend to be.
As the father says to his son in The Good Dinosaur:
“You're me, and more.”
Any Brit with any sense looks at New Zealand now, and knows exactly how he feels.
As the father says to his son in The Good Dinosaur:
“You're me, and more.”
Any Brit with any sense looks at New Zealand now, and knows exactly how he feels.
So why have we failed, where our children have succeeded?
Where did we go wrong?
My guess is that it took three generations.
Where did we go wrong?
My guess is that it took three generations.
There have been three generations.
1)
WW1 was tragically pointless - but their generation half-yearned for it, going to their deaths in the disease-ridden trenches and no-man's-land "as swimmers into cleanness leaping".
1)
WW1 was tragically pointless - but their generation half-yearned for it, going to their deaths in the disease-ridden trenches and no-man's-land "as swimmers into cleanness leaping".
2)
WW2 was tragically unavoidable - their generation only hoped to survive. They were offered nothing but "blood, sweat and tears", and were glad of a tin of beans.
WW2 was tragically unavoidable - their generation only hoped to survive. They were offered nothing but "blood, sweat and tears", and were glad of a tin of beans.
3)
The post-war baby boomer generation enjoyed all the post-war improvements - from the NHS, to university grants, to a growing job market, to a united, peaceful and prosperous Europe for the first time in history.
The post-war baby boomer generation enjoyed all the post-war improvements - from the NHS, to university grants, to a growing job market, to a united, peaceful and prosperous Europe for the first time in history.
But they also grew up with a self-image forged by the generation before.
So while some - like my mum - just blessed their fortune, and hoped to make the world even better for the next lot, others yearned for war.
So while some - like my mum - just blessed their fortune, and hoped to make the world even better for the next lot, others yearned for war.
And so they started wars - culture wars, political wars, economic wars, wars against the values of the generations below them - wars as pointless as WW1, just a lot sillier and more trivial.
And now we are in the midst of those wars - and it turns out, this generation are horribly incapable of fighting them.
Johnson is no Churchill, and Telegraph readers are no spitfire pilots - they are Dad's Army.
Johnson is no Churchill, and Telegraph readers are no spitfire pilots - they are Dad's Army.
They lack even our country's old armour - a keen sense of irony, self-awareness, and self-deprecation.
Nurtured in complacency, they rail against even wearing masks, and argue that we should 'learn to live' with Covid-19, the Nazi invasion of our times.
Nurtured in complacency, they rail against even wearing masks, and argue that we should 'learn to live' with Covid-19, the Nazi invasion of our times.
But still, they want to fight wars, to prove their mettle, even if those wars are pointless - as long as they can be fought at home, by reading the tabloids, over a cup of tea.
No-one who has actually experienced war is gung-ho about war. Only cosseted armchair generals drunk on jingoism and Facebook are gung-ho, like overgrown "children desperate for some ardent glory".
But they won’t be happy till they get their Blitz.
But they won’t be happy till they get their Blitz.
So my view is: OK, let them have it. But why do it through proxy wars, like Leavers v Remainers, or UK v EU, or BLM v ingrained racism, or navy boats versus foreign fishermen?
Let's just give them the Blitz they crave.
Let's just give them the Blitz they crave.
Let's bomb the hell out of ourselves, and get it out of our system, and save the pointless economic and cultural cost of tilting at windmills for the next decade.
And I see Betjeman pre-empted me with the self-bombing idea...
And I see Betjeman pre-empted me with the self-bombing idea...
“Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.”
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.”
Then we can let the more enlightened, savvy, ‘woke’ generation after me - I’m Generation X - mop up the mess from the generation before me.
Which is, I think, the only real answer. A generational shift.
Which is, I think, the only real answer. A generational shift.
Because in my opinion, the younger generations are the only ones who will fix all this. They're better than us, and the world will only get better when they take over.
As the father says to his son in The Good Dinosaur:
“You're me, and more.”
As the father says to his son in The Good Dinosaur:
“You're me, and more.”
