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I feel like the unpleasant truth is that there just aren't enough opportunities in "new music" and while representation can get better, it will never be able to support everyone deserving of support
I also feel like as a result there's a tendency to anoint a handful of people who end up getting the same handful of opportunities over and over and from the outside this just looks deeply unfair
More and more, I think it makes more sense to look outside of "new music" for the opportunities and affirmation and community it takes to sustain an artistic practice as a composer
I still feel twinges of regret that I didn't achieve the level of "prestige" I was taught to value as an undergrad, but as I get older they're fewer and further between
In retrospect, doing the things I wasn't "supposed" to do were the most valuable aspects of my troubled education and without them I don't think I would have survived to this point
(I mean "survive" both literally and figuratively)
