wow. misogyny strikes again

this is a bad pricing strategy, ofc, because £33 for three films is comfortably enough to make it worth the minor hassle of torrenting, whereas had it been cheaper I would simply have paid

anyway. thoughts. 1. really, why did they make Gandalf a stoner, 2, richard armitage as a dwarf is still very humiliatingly a yes

Lord Elrond should be hotter. I have always thought this

Too much singing

The big white orc man is very badly proportioned. No legs! He should be an object of derision and shame

anyway my favourite character (the dragon) died so this sucks. however I have big respect for the dwarf who is trying it on with the beautiful elf, interspecies relations aside it’s powerful energy. short king

there are few things more attractive than someone who really, thoroughly backs themselves, unfortunately one of those is 100% Orlando Bloom as Legolas

hmm, the orcs just referred to tauriel as a “she-elf,” that’s problematic

ugh it REALLY pisses me off when the elves have bad grammar. “From whence”? No. Unrealistic

It’s good that the vulgar little dwarf died. Necessary to keep the spirit of the books (racism) alive. Legolas should die next for being a simp

oh you kid me?? deus ex magic eagles TWICE? do not take the piss mr. Jackson

not to be offensive but I can no longer tell the difference between all the big white orc things

more than 10 hours in. frodo should take the ring and make sam swallow it

I think I could play both Frodo and Arwen better than the incumbents. If you can monetise just having wide eyes and staring a lot then I want in

ok let's play a little game. Which character am I. Oh no you guessed it!!! It's both.

I also like to think that if I were Frodo I wouldn’t be such a little bitch baby about every minor hardship but whatever. Guess some people just aren’t built to be winners

I think everything is basically Elrond’s fault?? He literally could just have tackled Isildur and lobbed him into Mount Doom 3000 years before any of this started??? Elrond should be killed.

hahahahah boromir just ran his fingers along a sword and cut them and was like “wow, it’s sharp!” lmao no wonder he dies. tool

1.5 hrs in. Arwen yet to do a facial expression. More as it happens.

Another nice homage to Tolkien: 5 different humanoid races depicted, but every single character is white!

ok nobody liked that one

my god, Frodo has been stabbed AGAIN. to get stabbed once is forgivable but twice??? embarrassing. Doesn’t count as victim-blaming because he’s not real

Boromir worse than useless also. can’t even remember why he’s here. Aragorn and Legolas should have been given the ring, they are better than everyone and more importantly hot

oh my god who is this outrageously camp Lucius Malfoy looking elf, who cast this sassy sassy man, I straight up refuse to take him seriously as a threat

real talk though: why do all the girl elves whisper at like one word a second. talk faster and shut up

Sam...did a poem. I know he’s supposed to be good and pure of heart and brave and loyal etc but I will be honest, I hate him and want him to die

this whole section would be improved a lot by not existing

gotta admit, saruman’s white hand branding of the uruk-hai would be a lot more impressive if it were, like, scarification, and not literally face paint