Figured out how to articulate a thing I love about some of my favorite people. They're folks who I feel totally safe bringing my whole *solitude* to, a bit different than my whole "self." If I can't feel alone (not lonely) with someone, that is a person who will exhaust me.
There's a corollary: my favorite people also protect and presence their own inner space. They tend, furnish, and map its contours, and they do it whether they're alone or in another's company. It sits like a vast cave just behind their eyes.
A real encounter with souls like this is like entering a temple. You recognize the honor of being invited in. You have a knowing that there are innumerable rooms you will never see, and a trust that each one of them is absolutely integral to the majesty of its architecture.
I guess this has something to do with why I don't think intimacy should be thought of primarily as mutual self-disclosure, where the goal is for 2 people to render one another fully legible to the other. An anthropological gaze is inimical to love; the mystery must be preserved.
"In this essay I will critique the popular fetishization of vulnerability..." 🙃😂

I wish I could fucking sleep lol.
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