// nsfw

how many shots would it take for me to hook up with hostile minecraft mobs, a thread:
cave spider: 7
- annoying
- will try and to top you but theyre not a top...
- probably into some weird stuff
spider: 3
- could be fun
- into biting
- rope bunny no questions about it
enderman: sober
- DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF
- aftercare
- please endermen im free on saturday
zombie pigman: 43847
- have never gotten bitches before
- probably republican
- says "baby girl" but not in a hot way but in a scary cringey way
blaze: ABSOLUTELY SOBER
- hot (pun intended)
- will WRECK you
- blaze rods...
creeper: 1
- bratty
- very expressive go off
- will say i love you
drowned: 9
- edgy but in a bad way
- probably smells like fish
- into choking but would accidentally k word you
elder guardian: 4
- rich ceo vibes
- breathplay
- no aftercare will drop u off in a dennys parking lot
endermite: 8
- texts freaky
- turns out to be a pillow princess
- boring
pillager: 19
- sadism but to the point where your life is in danger
- has a dungeon
- might not make it out alive but worth it for the experience
ghast: 6
- lots of kisses
- touch starved, will not let go of you
- would probably start crying about its ex afterward
guardian: 3
- dorky in a cute way
- a proud bottom
- will do whatever you want
husk: 5
- huge flirt
- vanilla
- buys you dinner first
magma cube: 1
- doesnt give af
- sloppy
- would pin you down
phantom: 90
- ANNOYING
- brags about how freaky it is then cries when you raise ur voice
- piss kink
shulker: 8
- likes spit
- shy
- completely silent
silverfish: 7
- would probably hiss
- doesn't know how to flirt
- would take you on a date to mcdonalds after. would only let you order from the dollar menu
skeleton: 1
- radiates charisma
- perfect body
- soft top
slime: 2
- cute
- probably very blushy
- would give forehead kisses
zombie: 6
- textbook definition of vanilla
- u say "lets spice things up" and it would sprinkle paprika on the bed
- great hugger
wither: 2
- very sexy
- probably too rough
- youd leave limping and ur hip dislocated
witch: 4
- would probably be high
- casual
- doesn't shut up though
wither skeleton: ABSOLUTELY NO SHOTS COMPLETELY SOBER
- radiates confidence and charisma in an intimidating but sexy way
- will make you do anything it asks
- please pleaseplease wither skeleton i am free rightnow please come over please
end of thread
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