Read on Twitter
A personal thread about a few experiences I’ve had as a woman in real life and online, for anyone interested
Thought I’d explain why I retouch/filter/manipulate my pics when I post them from time to time
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Thought I’d explain why I retouch/filter/manipulate my pics when I post them from time to time
1/
I don’t have a personal FB or Instagram account anymore
I’m not trying to use social media to build a brand or get approval from admirers in faraway lands, nor am I interested in being an influencer
And I don’t fault anyone who does, it’s just not for me
2/
I’m not trying to use social media to build a brand or get approval from admirers in faraway lands, nor am I interested in being an influencer
And I don’t fault anyone who does, it’s just not for me
2/
I think I can safely say on behalf of all women & femmes (cis, trans, femme-presenting fluid/non binary), that my experiences with harassment, creepy behaviour, and stalking nuare not unique
So that’s one reason I minimised my social media footprint
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So that’s one reason I minimised my social media footprint
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And yes, I’ve had harassment; in the workplace, in the building where I live; on the street; anyplace you can think of, it’s probably a place I (and most women/femme-presenting folk) have had at least a little bit of harassment
Welcome to Misogyny World aka Earth
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Welcome to Misogyny World aka Earth
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I’ve also had a dude get obsessed and verge on becoming a stalker
Like he literally wouldn’t stop calling me many times a day
He lived nearby and I saw him on morning walks/runs sometimes and he’d invariably talk about something I did online
It was highly uncomfortable
5/
Like he literally wouldn’t stop calling me many times a day
He lived nearby and I saw him on morning walks/runs sometimes and he’d invariably talk about something I did online
It was highly uncomfortable
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Another factor is my work life: I have several part time jobs which all add up to more than full-time work
None allows me to be opinionated or crude/horny/sarcastic
I have customers, client-patients, colleagues, or purchasers
They want “professionalism”, whatever that means
6/
None allows me to be opinionated or crude/horny/sarcastic
I have customers, client-patients, colleagues, or purchasers
They want “professionalism”, whatever that means
6/
And then: I’ve also done some modelling over the years
In recent times that’s shifted to some fetish pics, feet pics mainly
But for my face/body, even if I have some pics or know where they’ve been used, the pics aren’t mine tbh
I can only use them if they’re “modified”
7/
In recent times that’s shifted to some fetish pics, feet pics mainly
But for my face/body, even if I have some pics or know where they’ve been used, the pics aren’t mine tbh
I can only use them if they’re “modified”
7/
For all these reasons, when I post pics, I mess around with the images a little:
I change hair colour or use a filter to smooth the image
Maybe I add a few fake lashes
Or I’ll paste a couple emojis here or there to obscure a couple of features
Perhaps I blur the margins
8/
I change hair colour or use a filter to smooth the image
Maybe I add a few fake lashes
Or I’ll paste a couple emojis here or there to obscure a couple of features
Perhaps I blur the margins
8/
I don’t need to be instantly ID’d when walking down the street (though these days with a mask I’m feeling safer on there front)
It doesn’t feel safe and secure to be 100% precise with my appearance as it has led to people seeking to pressure me under anxiogenic conditions
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It doesn’t feel safe and secure to be 100% precise with my appearance as it has led to people seeking to pressure me under anxiogenic conditions
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By and large this isn’t something men or male-presenting people have to deal with
I don’t even know if many guys understand this challenge we women/femme folk face; it’s daily, it’s heavy, and it feels unjust
There’s a constant barrage of comments that can be destabilising
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I don’t even know if many guys understand this challenge we women/femme folk face; it’s daily, it’s heavy, and it feels unjust
There’s a constant barrage of comments that can be destabilising
10/
People (men mainly) think some of us are just thots and e-girls, airheads and narcissists
“You use filters, so vain”! they’ll say
or
“All that insecure retouching just to seem prettier”!
I assure you I’m very happy w/my looks; I seek no “improvements” for vanity’s sake
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“You use filters, so vain”! they’ll say
or
“All that insecure retouching just to seem prettier”!
I assure you I’m very happy w/my looks; I seek no “improvements” for vanity’s sake
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I couldn’t care less about impressing anyone or pretending to be more quintessentially “beautiful”, honestly I don’t give a crap
But modifying a few details, just enough to seem a bit inconsistent or to make it hard to pinpoint some of my “exact” features, eases my anxiety
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But modifying a few details, just enough to seem a bit inconsistent or to make it hard to pinpoint some of my “exact” features, eases my anxiety
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