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I haven't seen this in like twenty years and I have comments.
First thirty seconds of this movie and we've seen Bruce Willis in an airport smoking and on a plane with a gun. The 80s!
ALAN RICKMAN HAS ARRIVED.
(With a guy who is not Huey Lewis, but damn. Damn does it look like him.)
(With a guy who is not Huey Lewis, but damn. Damn does it look like him.)
Just did the math and Bruce Willis was 33 when this movie came out. I was 9.
Oh my god, Vigo from Ghostbusters 2 is in this?!
I love how Alan Rickman's accent is like four percent German and ninety six percent Alan Rickman.
I just realized that Argyle was Aristotle on Head of the Class, and the fact that I recognized him after thirty years is making me wonder how brains work.
Just loving the wigs on these stuntmen.
The most unrealistic part of this film is that the giant German terrorist has smaller feet than Bruce Willis. Like, how small are those shoes that going barefoot is preferable? Three sizes? Do we think he's wearing a size 8? Really?
The first time I saw this movie, I was terrified that Reginald VelJohnson was going to die. Just so scared.
He is the real hero of this movie and I hope he gets generous royalties forever because he seems like a nice guy.
He is the real hero of this movie and I hope he gets generous royalties forever because he seems like a nice guy.
Between this and Aliens I spent my childhood terrified of air ducts and convinced I'd have to hide in one at some point.
HOW DOES HE STEAL THE GUYS CIGARETTES AND NOT HIS SHOES
To everyone telling me "they are too small" - I am literally watching the movie. Karl's shoes were too small. He also kills Marco and Heinrich and doesn't take their shoes even though he had time.
Y'all are literally mansplaining Die Hard to me as I am watching it, come on, people, don't make me go Gennaro on you.
In order to indicate that the SWAT team is weak and hapless, here they are injuring themselves on rose bushes. Such nuanced writing.
They have rocket launchers?
This character actor was in everything in the 80s.
The principal from Breakfast Club is in this, too.
THE HANS BUBBIE SCENE IS AFOOT. He has said eighteen racist things in ten seconds oh my god.
I will say this. I love that the betrayer is a man. None of that weak woman tropey nonsense. This movie isn't feminist by any means, but Holly Gennaro is a goddamn icon and the backstabbing happens by a man.
INTERMISSION. WE ARE MAKING OUT IN THE KITCHEN.
MR. VELJOHNSON, THE HERO OF THIS MOVIE.
Also I'm older that him, I'm older than everyone, I need a drink.
"I'm Special Agent Johnson. This is Special Agent Johnson. No relation."
Now, that is some fun dialogue.
Now, that is some fun dialogue.
HANS IS PRETENDING TO BE AN AMERICAN AND CONTEMPLATING A CAREER IN MIDDLE MANAGEMENT.
I remember being so scared of this scene as a kid. (And confused. I was the only person in my family born in America. So this was just weird for me.)
Bruce didn't fall for it, Hans. Your diction is just too perfect.
How am I still watching this
WE ARE SKIPPING THE BLOODY FEET SCENE. HE HAD A CHANCE TO GET SHOES AND DIDN'T, WE AREN'T INDULGING THIS, JOHN.
This scene is just great.
John realizes that he needs to change. Damn right. Should have been a feminist and you wouldn't be in this mess.
HE THREATENS TO CALL INS IF SHE DOESN'T LET HIM IN.
Awww damn, Alan Rickman just realized Holly is John's wife because her kids were exploited on TV after her nanny was threatened.
This entire movie is about the struggle that working women face to have it all.
This entire movie is about the struggle that working women face to have it all.
SHE IS MORE THAN A POLICEMAN'S WIFE, HANS.
John is now on the roof screaming and upset that people think he's a terrorist. Honestly, the privilege of this man.
"We're gonna need some more FBI guys, I guess."
Were the feds the bad guys in the 80s? I don't remember.
Were the feds the bad guys in the 80s? I don't remember.
John has two bullets left. And he's just spotted Christmas tape.
ARGYLE JUST TOOK OUT A TERRORIST.
"Hi, honey."
Why don't people maniacally laugh more in real life?
Worth noting that Hans ALMOST TAKES HOLLY WITH HIM AND SHE IS ABLE TO GET FREE BY TAKING OFF THE WATCH HER COMPANY GAVE HER.
Because, again, Die Hard illustrates a woman's struggle to have it all.
Because, again, Die Hard illustrates a woman's struggle to have it all.
Great scene, honestly.
When you've been flirting over the phone and you finally meet IRL
Feeling this storyline in a real way
Augggggghhhhh KARL IS STILL ALIVE BUT NOT FOR LONG.
I REITERATE: Reginald VelJohnson is the male protagonist of Die Hard, a film about a woman's struggle to balance work and family.
I REITERATE: Reginald VelJohnson is the male protagonist of Die Hard, a film about a woman's struggle to balance work and family.
Aaaaand fin. Thank you all for taking this journey with me.
RIP, Mr. Rickman.
I'm going to bed.
RIP, Mr. Rickman.
I'm going to bed.
