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Better late than never to the @threadapalooza party
1 like = 1 tweet on moving (to, or away from) home
1 like = 1 tweet on moving (to, or away from) home
1. If you want to have different thoughts, move to a different environment
2. I guess I should define “moving home” first.
Home is the background canvas upon which you life is painted.
Home is the background canvas upon which you life is painted.
3. Home is the place you are most at ease, a place where you can rest.
It is a place of homeostasis.
It is a place of homeostasis.
4. To move home, then, is to change the background of your life.
It disrupts your homeostasis out of equilibrium, until you eventually settle into a new (temporary) resting place.
It disrupts your homeostasis out of equilibrium, until you eventually settle into a new (temporary) resting place.
5. A home is basically all the things you take for granted.
You know the right angle to tilt the shower handle, so the water is perfectly warm.
You know that the lock sticks when you turn it, so you push it just the right amount to effortlessly open it.
You know the right angle to tilt the shower handle, so the water is perfectly warm.
You know that the lock sticks when you turn it, so you push it just the right amount to effortlessly open it.
6. You can also take relationships for granted. So relationships are part of your home too.
Being able to take things for granted is what makes homes homey.
Being able to take things for granted is what makes homes homey.
7. The second you can no longer take things for granted, you don’t have a home anymore.
8. Homes exist only in our heads.
9. Because homes exist only in our heads, we can have “virtual homes” in purely idea-space.
10. Any part of idea space where you know exactly what you can take for granted and what won’t change when you leave it alone is a home. (It maps exactly onto how you feel about physical homes)
11. This is why you can feel “at home” in a certain discipline.
12. Another definition of home before we progress on to “moving”.
Home is your starting point. It’s your base set of assumptions and/or qualities you hold fixed as you progress along a journey.
Home is your starting point. It’s your base set of assumptions and/or qualities you hold fixed as you progress along a journey.
13. Moving home, then, is choosing a new set of qualities or assumptions you hold fixed.
14. Having a home is very important. Homes are anchors. Without somewhere you feel at ease that you can return to, it is very hard to make any sense of the world.
15. Feeling “homeless” means you have no environment in which you feel perfectly at ease.
This can be geographical, intellectual, social,,,
This can be geographical, intellectual, social,,,
16. You can feel homeless without seeming so.
When I returned to the UK for uni everyone took for granted my Britishness, bc of my accent. But having lived abroad, I had few shared experiences with Brits. I was an I-don’t-know-what masquerading as an Englishman.
When I returned to the UK for uni everyone took for granted my Britishness, bc of my accent. But having lived abroad, I had few shared experiences with Brits. I was an I-don’t-know-what masquerading as an Englishman.
To take social things for granted (and thus be at home) you need common knowledge.
You only feel really comfortable with someone when she knows that you know that she knows what you’re really like
You only feel really comfortable with someone when she knows that you know that she knows what you’re really like
18. Enough about home. Onto the moving.
Why move home?
One good reason is to experience a new environment. New inputs lead to new outputs.
Why move home?
One good reason is to experience a new environment. New inputs lead to new outputs.
19. Moving home is always uncomfortable.
When I left the US we visited my old house after all the furniture was packed up. You could see the indents my bed made in the carpet. I stood where I used to sleep, slid down the wall, and bawled my eyes out.
When I left the US we visited my old house after all the furniture was packed up. You could see the indents my bed made in the carpet. I stood where I used to sleep, slid down the wall, and bawled my eyes out.
20. The more you invest in a home, the harder it is to leave.
I was so sad to leave North Carolina bc I invested 2 years of effort into friendships there. But we left after only 1 year
I was so sad to leave North Carolina bc I invested 2 years of effort into friendships there. But we left after only 1 year
21. If you move too often, it’s hard to feel at home anywhere.
Someone at my international school had moved 10 times by age 16. He told me he felt most at home in an airport.
Someone at my international school had moved 10 times by age 16. He told me he felt most at home in an airport.
22. If you move too often, you’ll never do anything great.
Moving home takes enormous emotional energy. You can’t do anything else while you move. Forget about writing a novel or building a company when you have no friends or community
Moving home takes enormous emotional energy. You can’t do anything else while you move. Forget about writing a novel or building a company when you have no friends or community
23. It is possible to move your place of residence without moving home.
Regardless of where digital nomads work from, they live on the internet. Moving from online-working hub to hub is not like moving home at all.
Regardless of where digital nomads work from, they live on the internet. Moving from online-working hub to hub is not like moving home at all.
24. It’s only a home if you invest in it.
I’ve been working remotely from Madeira for the last 2 months. Because I’m investing in virtual space and not real space, I’m at home on the internet, and on holiday on the island.
I’ve been working remotely from Madeira for the last 2 months. Because I’m investing in virtual space and not real space, I’m at home on the internet, and on holiday on the island.
25. It’s only a home if you build it.*
* by build it, I mean, build your mental model of it yourself.
I’m not trying to build a mental model of Madeira to take for granted, so it’s not home.
* by build it, I mean, build your mental model of it yourself.
I’m not trying to build a mental model of Madeira to take for granted, so it’s not home.
26. In my case, I’m holding constant assumptions about my remote job and connections on the internet (the background). I’m letting my experiences in Madeira change (the foreground).
27. When you move home, there’s often no going back.
If things change while you’re away, you can no longer take them for granted when you return. You have to build a new home, almost from scratch.
If things change while you’re away, you can no longer take them for granted when you return. You have to build a new home, almost from scratch.
28. “global citizens” are a real thing
These people hold things like their jobs, relationships, income expectations constant. And change their physical location.
These people hold things like their jobs, relationships, income expectations constant. And change their physical location.
29. If the things you take for granted are different from someone else (eg a mobile job vs a fixed location) it can be very difficult to relate to that person.
30. People who have moved around a lot relate more to others who have moved around a lot, even if the destinations were different.
Ditto for people who’ve stayed in the same place their whole lives.
Ditto for people who’ve stayed in the same place their whole lives.
31. Going meta, It is possible to feel at home on the road.
In this case your constant assumptions are your modes of travel. The physical places change, but the train compartments, or economy plane seats, are reliably the same.
In this case your constant assumptions are your modes of travel. The physical places change, but the train compartments, or economy plane seats, are reliably the same.
I think I ruined this thread by not defining terms in tweet 1, oh well
I’m not at home on twitter yet, as you can see
I’m not at home on twitter yet, as you can see
32. If you don’t choose a home one will be allocated to you.
Most people never think to choose a home - they’re plonked into their parents’ home. But you can always choose if you want to.
Most people never think to choose a home - they’re plonked into their parents’ home. But you can always choose if you want to.
33. Moving home is a decluttering mechanism.
Every time you move you have to Marie Kondo, or else pay a storage company hundreds of dollars.
Every time you move you have to Marie Kondo, or else pay a storage company hundreds of dollars.
34. Moving home is a total reboot of your personal operating system.
Each time you get to start fresh, like closing 100 browser tabs.
Each time you get to start fresh, like closing 100 browser tabs.
35. Moving home is a novelty overload.
If you feel stuck in a rut, try changing where you live. I guarantee you’ll feel childlike wonder and childlike terror in no time.
If you feel stuck in a rut, try changing where you live. I guarantee you’ll feel childlike wonder and childlike terror in no time.
36. Homes grow as you invest in them.
At first when you move you only feel at ease in your bedroom. Over time, you get used to your apartment, your street, your neighbourhood.
At first when you move you only feel at ease in your bedroom. Over time, you get used to your apartment, your street, your neighbourhood.
37. You can speed up this process.
One way is by decorating. Posters turn unfamiliar bare walls into familiar homey ones in minutes. And they cost nearly nothing.
One way is by decorating. Posters turn unfamiliar bare walls into familiar homey ones in minutes. And they cost nearly nothing.
38. Homes are personal. They’re *yours*. The more you affect a place, the more homey it is.
39. Moving homes forces you to put first things first.
Habitat before friends, friends before dating.
Physical safety, before social safety, social safety before emotional gratification.
Habitat before friends, friends before dating.
Physical safety, before social safety, social safety before emotional gratification.
40. An interesting way to tell whether you're a traveller (staying temporarily) or an immigrant (making a home) is how attractive you are to others.
41. When you travel to a place with no intention of staying there, your actions don't have long term consequence. You can do whatever you feel like. This makes you powerful.
And powerful people are attractive.
And powerful people are attractive.
42. When you make a home, though, your actions do have long term consequence. And part of the process of feeling at home is working out what those consequences are. Until you build a support system, you feel precarious.
And precarious people are unattractive.
And precarious people are unattractive.
43. When you move, you'll miss your old home enormously. But it doesn't do well to dwell on the past.
In international school you could always tell when friends who moved away hated their new city. It's because they wouldn't stop talking to you.
In international school you could always tell when friends who moved away hated their new city. It's because they wouldn't stop talking to you.
44. The sooner you make friends, the happier you'll be.
Home is a mental construct (see above) – most of "feeling at home" is domesticating other people to your own personality.
Home is a mental construct (see above) – most of "feeling at home" is domesticating other people to your own personality.
45. To practice making friends, there is no better way than moving home.
46. When you move, prepare to be a stranger in a strange land for at least a little while.
This is sometimes very hard. Its easier if you're comfortable with your immigrant culture.
This is sometimes very hard. Its easier if you're comfortable with your immigrant culture.
47. People are interested in novelty. And strangers are novel.
By telling stories of your old homes, you can very quickly adapt to a new one.
By telling stories of your old homes, you can very quickly adapt to a new one.
48. Moving home evaporates all other goals.
You don’t feel the need to strive in your career, if you’re still working out how to survive in a foreign land.
You don’t feel the need to strive in your career, if you’re still working out how to survive in a foreign land.
49. Moving home is very different to travelling.
To use the painting metaphor:
Travelling is like changing the foreground while keeping the same background.
Moving home is like painting on an entirely new canvas.
To use the painting metaphor:
Travelling is like changing the foreground while keeping the same background.
Moving home is like painting on an entirely new canvas.
50. A great reason to move is the weather.
More daylight -> less misery.
More daylight -> less misery.
51. Every city you move to has a pulse. You can see it in how fast people move. Madeirans amble. Montrealers trot. Londoners stride.
52. Although every home is different, moving home is a skill you can learn like any other.
53. Learning how to move home is a meta-skill, kind of like learning how to learn.
54. Turning up in a new place is the easiest part of moving home.
The hardest part is navigating gigantic bureaucracies, all of whom want you to stay within their clutches.
The hardest part is navigating gigantic bureaucracies, all of whom want you to stay within their clutches.
55. I don't have much experience with international tax (yet, I'm about to be triple-taxed this year).
But from everything I've heard, It's a horrendous clusterfuck.
But from everything I've heard, It's a horrendous clusterfuck.
56. Tens of millions of people move every year. (at least)
And probably hundreds of millions more want to move but due to bureaucratic bullshit, can't.
And probably hundreds of millions more want to move but due to bureaucratic bullshit, can't.
57. There are probably ~10 billion-dollar companies waiting to be built that address different parts of "moving-as-a-service"
58. The obvious starting point is visa, immigration, and tax documentation.
These things take days of up-skilling and book-learing for would-be movers. And if you don't hop, skip and jump through the hoops in the right order, its over.
These things take days of up-skilling and book-learing for would-be movers. And if you don't hop, skip and jump through the hoops in the right order, its over.
59. Rich people pay accountants and/or lawyers thousands of dollars to sort this shit out for them.
The rest of us have to do it on our own.
I'm certain there are software companies out there who could lower costs by at least 10x
The rest of us have to do it on our own.
I'm certain there are software companies out there who could lower costs by at least 10x
60. Moving physical stuff is ofc a massive faff as well.
Shipping containers are ok, but boats are very slow.
Air freight is very expensive.
Moving unique things through time and space very quickly is still a costly problem.
Shipping containers are ok, but boats are very slow.
Air freight is very expensive.
Moving unique things through time and space very quickly is still a costly problem.
61. There's really three parts to moving home.
1. Leaving home
2. Moving
3. Making a new home.
2 is much easier than 3 which is easier than 1
1. Leaving home
2. Moving
3. Making a new home.
2 is much easier than 3 which is easier than 1
62. Saying goodbye is always hard, and it *should* always be hard.
If you find it easy to leave home, you were never a resident, only a lodger.
If you find it easy to leave home, you were never a resident, only a lodger.
63. There is a fine balance to strike between keeping up with friends from your old home, versus making friends in your new one.
64. Keep up with friends too much, and you won't make a new home. Without the anchor of your old home, you'll be adrift at sea, with nothing to orient you.
You'll get homesick.
You'll get homesick.
65. But if you don't keep up with friends enough, you'll lose them, maybe forever.
A friendship extinguished is like a tiny light that has gone out on your life.
It is possible to rekindle old flames. But its much easier to keep them alight.
A friendship extinguished is like a tiny light that has gone out on your life.
It is possible to rekindle old flames. But its much easier to keep them alight.
66. Homesickness is simply the feeling of yearning for familiarity, for ease, for people and things you can take for granted.
67. Calling old friends and family doesn't cure homesickness. It's more like a relapse.
The only way to cure homesickness is to make a new home.
The only way to cure homesickness is to make a new home.
68. Social media make it much easier to say goodbye to people.
This makes it easier to move places, but harder to move *homes*. Moving home requires finding "your people", which, offline, is harder than ever.
This makes it easier to move places, but harder to move *homes*. Moving home requires finding "your people", which, offline, is harder than ever.
69. A good way to find "your people" is to do activities.
The biggest benefit of playing a team sport is that you can rock up to a park in any sufficiently large Western city and know that you can find people with common interests.
The biggest benefit of playing a team sport is that you can rock up to a park in any sufficiently large Western city and know that you can find people with common interests.
70. Moving home depends on the degree of uncertainty.
The lowest uncertainty moves are when big companies send their employees on international assignment.
The highest uncertainty moves are when you move to a country with a foreign language, where you know no one.
The lowest uncertainty moves are when big companies send their employees on international assignment.
The highest uncertainty moves are when you move to a country with a foreign language, where you know no one.
71. Making a home is the most democratic process there is.
Don't like where you live? Vote with your feet.
Don't like where you live? Vote with your feet.
72. One of the reasons the US is so successful is bc its so easy to move within states.
It's a long-cycle selection mechanism for societies that people want to live in.
It's a long-cycle selection mechanism for societies that people want to live in.
73. Before universal healthcare or universal basic income, moving is a human right.
Everyone should be able to uproot in search of a better life.
Everyone should be able to uproot in search of a better life.
74. Humans have been nomads for tens of thousands of years.
Moving in search of a better life is the most natural thing you can do.
Moving in search of a better life is the most natural thing you can do.
75. Can't believe I haven't talked about the C word yet.
Usually the hardest thing to adapt to when you move is the new culture.
Usually the hardest thing to adapt to when you move is the new culture.
76. Culture is a messy thing: it's kind of like language, plus common knowledge. It's basically all the things you can take for granted in people you meet on the street.
77. Because culture is common knowledge, adapting to it takes a long time.
Locals must know that you know that they know you understand where they're coming from...
Locals must know that you know that they know you understand where they're coming from...
78. It is impossible to truly call a place home without understanding the local language.
79. You don't need to be fully fluent in the local language to understand it. You don't even need to be competent. But you do need to understand the idiosyncracies of how and why its spoken the way it is.
80. It is possible to make a home in a different language to the national language.
But being at home in a Portuguese expat community is not the same as being at home in Portugal.
But being at home in a Portuguese expat community is not the same as being at home in Portugal.
81. It's called the expat "bubble" for a reason. Speak a different language and it pops.
82. Moving away from home makes you identify way more with your old nationality.
In London I don't feel British at all. In the US I'm so patriotic I want to staple a union jack to my back.
In London I don't feel British at all. In the US I'm so patriotic I want to staple a union jack to my back.
83. Paradoxically, being more patriotic about your old home makes it easier to integrate into your new one.
Locals are curious. It's easier to connect with them when you bring something authentic to the table
Locals are curious. It's easier to connect with them when you bring something authentic to the table
84. Little compares to the sheer elation/terror of touching down in a new home for the first time.
It's like that first-day-of-school feeling on steroids
It's like that first-day-of-school feeling on steroids
85. Moving is stimulating. And like anything stimulating, you can get addicted to it.
86. The people I admire most moved around a lot, then settled somewhere – invested in a longterm home.
It takes foresight and discipline to override the urge to roam pastures new.
It takes foresight and discipline to override the urge to roam pastures new.
87. One quick way to get accustomed to a new home is to try the local cuisine. It's a great way to pick up culture and bond with locals.
Bonus points: try cooking it too.
Bonus points: try cooking it too.
89. You can't really bond with the locals unless you can speak with them in their language.
At an absolute minimum, you must initiate the conversation in their language.
At an absolute minimum, you must initiate the conversation in their language.
90. Non english speakers *love* it when you make an effort.
They're so used to American tourists yapping at them.
You feel dumb, but you make their day. And may make a friend too.
They're so used to American tourists yapping at them.
You feel dumb, but you make their day. And may make a friend too.
(If the above tweet wasn't clear, I meant make an effort to speak in their language)
91. The best time in life to move home is after a life event: like finishing high school, graduating from college, or being broken up with.
92. The second best time to move home is now.
(Ok maybe not right now due to covid.)
(Ok maybe not right now due to covid.)
93. If you've only lived in one home, your mind is confined to a tiny corner of an expansive world of human possibility.
Unless you leave, you'll never experience it.
Unless you leave, you'll never experience it.
94. Travelling doesn't really do it justice – as I explained (badly) earlier with the foreground/background model. Moving home breaks down your old assumptions about the world, so you can build new ones
95. Each time you move, you see a new sliver of human activity, and your life is filled with new possibility.
This is one of the things that is so addictive.
This is one of the things that is so addictive.
96. Moving home enables another wonderful feeling too: the surprisingly pleasurable nostalgia of returning to old homes.
97. So much of the old background has worn away, leaving only the bare skeleton remaining. It's barely recognisable.
But then you turn a corner and get a waft of the local cooking. And, like a dream, you feel at home again.
But then you turn a corner and get a waft of the local cooking. And, like a dream, you feel at home again.
98. Don't return to old homes too soon. You'll get homesick. But you should always come back in the end – catching up with old friends is one of the most treasured things any of us can do.
99. Don't leave a loving home to move for money.
Money can buy a house but can't make a home.
Money can buy a house but can't make a home.
100. Move for fun, move for curiosity, and move for love.
Never stop exploring.
But don't move for novelty alone.
Some places are worth investing in. Some homes are worth building.
Never stop exploring.
But don't move for novelty alone.
Some places are worth investing in. Some homes are worth building.
Happy to have finished @threadapalooza #1!!
Proud of myself bc I was too scared to join in last year.
Proud of myself bc I was too scared to join in last year.
Even though I picked a topic I know a lot about, getting started was very hard. But powering through was easier than expected.
Next time will be even better :)
Next time will be even better :)
