I have a small number of very old, very dear friends who I love with all of my heart and who I know love me. And the single most ridiculous idea I’ve had in recent years is “maybe twitter would be a good place to meet more such friends.” https://twitter.com/razibkhan/status/1340154065683173382

Most of the objections to this site have been gone over a hundred times and remain valid, so I will add only this: “friendships“ forged over ideological matters cannot survive exposure to human reality in the same way that friendships formed from the ground up can.

The friends I value the most are ones who I have years and years of history of actually *doing* things together with- going to games and parties, watching fights, having dinner, playing cards; in one case living together for years. I know them inside out as people in themselves.

If we disagree over something theoretical or ideological, we can talk about it- or we can not, and move on. There’s no fundamental need to resolve an issue, because there’s no real issue- what binds us is not founded on intellectual agreement. We are not a coalition or party.

Meanwhile on this site if I respect a man for his analysis, and he begins to rave about how the military is stealing the mailboxes, what is left between us? If I value his independent stance, and he moves from killdozer meme provider to boot salesman, what are we to one another?

Some social bonds can be formed on twitter, and they may have value. But they aren’t friendships. And the idea that they are is one of the subtle social dynamics here which prevents people from saying true things and encourages them to spout popular inanities for approval.

Moreover, the difference between real friendships and the hollow shrieking simulacra of social media, and the enforced need to rely on the latter and pretend it is the former, is another of the incalculable losses to the year of lockdown and the years to come. Don’t forget that.

For my part I intend to be on here less in future and to spend very, very little time bothering with notifications. This is a place to say true things regardless of consequences; trying to make it something else does not work.