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Here’s a look into why I haven’t been able to really grieve the death of the man who helped raise me. COVID sucks. The government treats my grandfather’s death like just another number and says nothing of the people left behind.
This virus is so widespread that I live in fear that the other fucking shoe will drop. Everyone in my house has wellness checks and keeps a diary of potential symptoms.
Temperature checks three times a day. Blood oxygen levels three times a day. Testing when we can. A cough causes an overwhelming sense of dread.
I have panic attacks when I leave my house which I hadn’t done since my grandpa’s funeral. I had to leave to vote today and my resting heart rate hit 102. I still voted though. You’re welcome @Ossoff and @ReverendWarnock
My anxiety causes insomnia and irritability. I haven’t slept for more than four hours a night in almost a month. I’m terrified of sleeping when everyone else in the house is asleep so I usually nap during the day if possible. It’s rarely possible.
I have nightmares. Very vivid nightmares that cause me to wake up screaming with extremely painful headaches. Those headaches, in turn, make me think I have COVID, which—you guessed it—only makes my anxiety worse.
And we have a fucking government that just doesn’t give a shit and I’m too angry to be sad because anger is at least an emotion that allows me to function. In short—-FUCK COVID. FUCK Trump. Fuck Republicans. Stay home, wear a mask, and take the damn shot when you can.
