Okay, so here is my sad Star War That Almost Happened Story.

Some of you may have witnessed some of it in real time.

1/

I was here on Twitter and had gotten excited about Star Wars again, not sure what the exact motivator was, a game or a movie, can’t recall.

And this image popped in my head.

2/

Princess Leia, wearing her Endor commando gear, on a beach, coming up out of the surf with an army of Wookiees behind her, charging like the beach at Normandy.

3/

And that was it, no plot yet, just that idea.

And I posted it here. And people got a little excited.

Like, REAL excited.

4/

Several artists drew the image, each cooler than the last. I can only find one, by Max Dunbar, but look how cool!

5/

So, it was an off-hand comment, but things started happening.

Known artists wanted to draw it as a mini. A bunch emailed me to say, “I WANT TO DRAW THIS.”

By the end of the day, word had reached @DarkHorseComics who held the comics license back then.

6/

And they were lovely, they didn’t even wait for a pitch, they just said, it’s you writing Leia, we’re doing it.

But Lucasfilm of course needed an extensive plot before it could be approved.

7/

So I wrote a Star War, with all of the badass Leia that was promised in the escape from the Death Star that we didn’t always get to see elsewhere...it was Leia the Hutt Slayer, essentially.

8/

And more importantly, it was a freeing-of-slaves story, something that has always rankled me about Star Wars a bit, something I really wanted to see a story like that. It’s off the books, so she can’t call for the rebellion forces...so she commands a troop of Wookiees.

9/

And in a nod to Disney’s acquisition of Star Wars, it was a war story, but it followed the exact beats of an early Disney fairy tale movie, she was the princess and all this fairy tale stuff keeps happening to her, it was really action packed and funny.

10/

I turned it in, the outline was extensive, and really carefully constructive.

But it never made it to Lucasfilm, because it contradicted a bunch of EU stuff I had never heard of.

11/

The letter from Dark Horse was, ‘we love this but in this series and this book, Leia is on Norcula 7, and wouldn’t be available for blah blah blah.’

They were nice, but very firm, understandably.

12/

So I made fixes, it was all good, no problems.

And here is where I freaked out.

Apparently DH and Lucasfilms thought this was going to be a big deal, they thought they could do a worldwide promotion. I heard from people I didn’t even know at LF.

13/

So! They came up with this idea to promo it, and help convey how important this was.

They wanted me to meet with Carrie Fisher.

14/

The plan was to meet her backstage at a particular convention, to do some quick photo ops but also so I could ask her a little bit about her philosophy about Leia, where the character had gone and where she could still go.

I talked with Ms. Fisher's reps, it was a go.

15/

Guys, I have some social anxiety issues, which is why I don't like to do a lot of performance stuff. A lot of unimaginable stuff has happened, I got to speak at the White House and the UN, I've lectured at colleges, lots of stuff that I never thought would happen. BUT...

16/

The idea of meeting Carrie Fisher, who was THREE TIMES a hero to me, freaked me out worse than any of that.

I got freaked out just CONTEMPLATING it. But I wanted to do it. For reasons. :)

So I agreed.

17/

Why three times a hero?

1) For creating one of the most influential action heroines in all of genre fiction, in a universe with no girls, she held her ****ing OWN against EVERYONE ELSE.

2) As a brilliant and fearless writer in a town that is not always supportive of those.

18/

And finally,

3) as a brutal truth-teller about mental illness and addiction.

She didn't care what anyone thought, she cared about the truth. AND she scared the living hell out of abusive Hollywood.

SO three times a hero to me.

19/

If you know a female writer in adventure fiction who doesn't melt a LITTLE bit at least at the very THOUGHT of Leia Organa, that is a pretty rare beast, just saying.

So I was excited to meet her, beyond words, it was all in the heart.

20/

The promotional stuff was all worked out. I had my short short list of questions ready to go. I picked out a jacket I thought she would like.

Then we got notice, just shortly before the con.

She couldn't come.

21/

She had had a bit of a breakdown and was not able to make it. Immediately, I knew she'd made the decision she needed to make, of course. And I worried about her.

There would be other opportunities.

22/

There were no other opportunities.

23/

She passed away shortly after.

It hurt, it hurt a lot.

Not just Star Wars, but it was hard to imagine the entire world without her tart responses to goofy toxicity.

Three times a hero,

and counting.

24/

After that, I just fell off the idea of doing the story. It just...it wasn't the right time. I could have pitched something else, but that was where my heart was, I really wanted my Leia at Normandy story.

But I couldn't get myself to work on it.

25/

Eventually, I could see that a lot of people missed her, missed Leia and Carrie both. And I thought, man, maybe this could be a lovely tribute for all of us who miss this remarkable woman.

26/

But then the rights changed from DH to Marvel, they had a full schedule of projects planned for a long time, it just never felt like the right time.

So it will probably never happen.

27/

The upside is, both Marvel and Dark Horse have done the series proud, Mark Waid wrote a great Leia mini that I enjoyed a lot. For a LOOOOOONG time, the best SW stuff was in comics and books and sometimes games.

28/

The downside is, this story didn't happen.

I was watching the Mandalorian's season finale today, and it rekindled that feeling. The series works because it's just full of love and art and craft on every level. It's inspiring, even if you're not a big Star Wars fan.

29/

I always try to take only projects I am excited by. The one or two times I've taken a job for other reasons, it hasn't worked out at all.

I love that there's still enough juice in Star Wars to produce the Mandalorian, and all the other great stuff out there.

30/

Someday, I'm going to get me a blaster and a lightsaber and try to honor this amazing universe, even if it's just some small story about a Wampa who hates snow.

Someday!

Also, THANK YOU CARRIE FISHER, YOU WARRIOR OF SPACE AND SARCASM!

31/

A billion little girls raise their blasters to your memory!

I can't even IMAGINE how many grew up to become writers and directors and actors and astronauts because of you.

Once-in-a-lifetime, you have been and remain.

32/

And that's my story about almost writing a Star War.

Thanks for listening.

And if you spoil the Mandalorian for others, I'm going to find you and bury you in Bantha poo.

Love to all of you who love the space princess.

End/