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Dear Mama,
I know there is more behind the smile, the photos, the sparkly lights, or the beautifully wrapped presents than what many others might see.
This picture is from 2013 and it's our first Christmas.
I know there is more behind the smile, the photos, the sparkly lights, or the beautifully wrapped presents than what many others might see.
This picture is from 2013 and it's our first Christmas.
It’s actually our first "night out" together (Reuben was almost 3 months old) and we chose to go to see the Christmas lights etc.
It's a blur because I did not want to stand still for it and could not wait to move away - I think I probably moved just before the camera clicked.
It's a blur because I did not want to stand still for it and could not wait to move away - I think I probably moved just before the camera clicked.
I wanted to go back home before we'd got out of the car!
I just could not cope with the crowds, the fuss, and all the people (kindly) excited to see Reuben and ask questions about us all. I was highly anxious. I remember thinking my legs were about to give way.
I just could not cope with the crowds, the fuss, and all the people (kindly) excited to see Reuben and ask questions about us all. I was highly anxious. I remember thinking my legs were about to give way.
I held on so tightly to the pram as a safety net. I hated having to stand beside it, rather than behind it, for the photo. I felt exposed.
15 mins after we'd got out of the car we were back in it again for home. I wanted safety and to shut the world out.
15 mins after we'd got out of the car we were back in it again for home. I wanted safety and to shut the world out.
I was mentally ill and struggling to get by each day but I didn't know what was wrong with me.
I also had no idea that there was help and support available when it feels like life is falling apart.
I also had no idea that there was help and support available when it feels like life is falling apart.
I eventually got help and support - medication, treatment, therapy, family, friends, online support, peer support where all part of that and each played a key role in helping me "find me" again.
To any else who is struggling this Christmas season - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
To any else who is struggling this Christmas season - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
For help & support - http://www.haveyouseenthatgirl.com/findsupport/
And join @PANGSNI - we can support you.
Have you seen that girl?
And join @PANGSNI - we can support you.
Have you seen that girl?
