Read on Twitter
I thought it would be good to share some tips on how to make a good confession, given that Advent is a penitential season where many seek out confession even outside of their regular confessional habits.
A thread.
A thread.
2/ All mortal sins must be confessed in kind and number. If you don't know the exact number of times you committed the sin, you can make an estimate or say about how often. You don't need to say number for venial sins.
3/ Start your confession by mentioning your state in life. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I'm a 35 year old wife and mother with three kids." Your state in life can affect severity of sins and gives context to the priest for advice. Don't doxx yourself, but context helps.
4/ Say the sin that you're most scared or embarrassed about saying first. It's make the rest of the confession easier, it gives the priest more time to think about advice if it's a bigger sin, and we can tell from the sound of your voice that you're holding something back.
5/ You only have to say the specific sin and the number of times you committed it (and that only if mortal). I don't want to sound rude, but please don't tell the stories your sins especially if there are people in line behind you.
6/ Context can sometimes help for sins but we don't need to hear the whole story.
"I was rude to my cousins"
"I taunted my cousins with a limerick"
"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. His parents called him Eustace Clarence and-"
"I was rude to my cousins"
"I taunted my cousins with a limerick"
"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. His parents called him Eustace Clarence and-"
7/ Confess your sins, not other people's sins.
You don't need to tell me why sins are bad or that you know they're wrong; I assume you know that! You're here in confession, praise God!
You don't need to tell me why sins are bad or that you know they're wrong; I assume you know that! You're here in confession, praise God!
8/ If you're confessing a habitual grave sin, it can be helpful to the priest if you mention how long you've been struggling with it and things that you've done in the past to try to overcome it.
9/ Emotions aren't necessarily sins; it's what we do with them. Don't confess anger; confess what the anger led you to do (or if you just sat in it).
Temptations aren't sins; you don't need to confess having impure thoughts that pop into your head that you immediately fight off.
Temptations aren't sins; you don't need to confess having impure thoughts that pop into your head that you immediately fight off.
10/ Try not to be overly vague; saying "I watched bad movies" can mean a lot of things. Do you mean overly violent movies? P*rnography? etc. "I had bad thoughts" - Impure thoughts? Violent thoughts? Hateful thoughts? etc.
11/ If you struggle with scrupulosity, this is a good guide: https://www.fisheaters.com/scruples.html
12/ If you think your penance is too difficult (or too easy!) you have the right to request a different one.
13/ Confession is not a time for therapy or spiritual direction. While I can do some initial triage work, if you need to discuss a more in-depth or serious issue for more than just a few minutes, schedule an appointment. The appointment can be done as a confession under the seal.
(that's all for now, I'll add more as I think of things, and other priests are welcome to add on as well)
