Make no mistake: the "outrage" that some Republicans are expressing over being called f**kers by a Biden staffer is a form of manipulation. Trump isn't the only one deploying psychological warfare, here. His supporters do it, too, and it's an abuser tactic. Let me explain.

What these Republicans are doing can be classified as DARVO: Deny, Attack, and reverse Victim and Offender. This happens a lot in domestic abuse situations. When a victim calls an abuser out on their bad behavior, the abuser denies what they did, attacks the victim, and...

...makes themselves out to be the real victim in the situation.

This dynamic has been playing out in our political system for years, even before Trump took office. But it has really ramped up under this administration.

Notice: No matter what is said or done by either party, it always comes back to being the Democrats' fault. Did Trump recruit foreign leaders to help him with the election? It's the Democrats' fault for being so corrupt.

Did the administration kill 300,000 citizens (and counting) because it wouldn't take the pandemic seriously? It's the Democrats' fault for refusing to approve all of Trump's policies.

Far-right Republicans can call Democrats demon possessed, say we should die or not have our votes counted, talk about seceding, & kill hundreds of thousands in an absurd ploy to achieve herd immunity, but the moment we call them "deplorable" or "f**kers," we're off the rails.

This whole "here is how Democrats can heal the political divide" farce is part of the abuse. It's exactly like when an abusive husband tells his battered wife how she can make their relationship better. "Next time, just have dinner on the table at 5 p.m. sharp. Ok?"

CW

Except, the wife puts dinner on the table at 5 p.m., and the beatings continue. This time, the ice wasn't cold enough. Or her hair wasn't in place. Or the food was under seasoned, or she had a displeased look, or the baby was crying, or, or, or.

That's EXACTLY what these Republicans are doing. They're telling us how we can fix the rift, except that it WON'T fix the rift. All it does is give them the control they crave. The next time Fox News or Onan airs, they'll be right back to the slandering & blaming.

If you feel like you've been going crazy the past couple of years, it's because of this right here. DARVO makes victims feel crazy. It's a direct attack on your sense of reality, justice, fairness and morality.

DARVO takes your good will, desire for cooperation and connection...all of the things that make you a kind, compassionate human...and uses them to strongarm you into submission.

I've heard many people (myself included) say things like "I don't understand Trumpers. I don't understand their reasoning or why they do X instead of Y."

That's because what they're saying & doing & supporting isn't rational. You can't make sense of it b/c it lacks sense.

DARVO is a tool used by incredibly selfish (read: sociopathic) people to protect their egos and get what they want. If they can make *you* look as bad or worse than them, then they don't have to change.

How do you combat DARVO? The short answer is boundaries. Very strong, take-no-BS boundaries. You grey rock those mf-ers.

You agree to work with them ONLY when they're behaving themselves and playing by YOUR rules. The moment they attempt to undermine you, they're gone.

That's what we've got to do with these extremists: give them zero quarter. We've got to put the burden of bridging the divide back on them. That's where it belongs. Don't ask me for s**t.

And there has to be consequences for unethical & illegal behavior. Send the lawbreakers to jail. Unseat seditious senators. Make behaving badly expensive and painful.

The reason things are so bad right now is that we've failed to do this in our country.

In closing, if any of this has resonated with you...

You are not crazy.
This is manipulation & abuse.
Abuse is not rational.
We need to steel our collective backbones & stop submitting to this mess.
Let them heal the rift. They caused it. They can un-cause it.

The end.