this is always how the alien invasion movie starts https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/1339779923083485184

i feel like our best scientists never watch the really good fantasy/scifi/superhero movies and so theyre always grabbing alien spores and opening sarcophaguses and the like. we laypeople understand the problem, but they don't.

just watch ONE indiana jones movie, guys.

scientists: oh, look, the tomb of amon-ra-ba, buried since the 4th century and inscribed with the "curse of the world killer." we should definitely open it.

everyone:

we're going to get the alien echo tones sometime soon and some nasa or european space agency person is going to just go, "ok, now to send the response signal on the same frequency."

and we're like:

scientists: if there are any aliens theyre probably primitive spores

everyone: look, i got a C- in high school science, but i watched independence day, mars attacks, and that twilight zone marathon. don't fuck with the aliens. oh yeah, i also watched aliens.

2020: whew no year could possibly be worse

2021: so, when the alien spores merged with the coronavirus and became sentient, things really went downhill

2022: we thought we would be fine opening the ancient tomb. but then we got alien coronavirus zombies...

(and look, i have a pet theory that the cavalier scientists are mostly cabin-american and cabin-european, which would explain a lot of their "LOL NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN" outlook)

i like to think there's a secret brother/sisterhood of black scientists who are quietly working to squash all the efforts to open tombs and hail aliens and have secretly been keeping us safe for decades.

"dr jackson, you had the spore slides..."
"oh damn, i dropped them into a vat of acid."
"thats the third time this week"
"yeah, i have super slippery fingers, im a very bad scientist"

"i call to order another meeting of the union of black scientists"

"get this, they tried to open another damn sarcophagus"

"inscribed with the warning of the doom slayer?"

"you know the one"

"what did you do"

"i dropped a vat of acid on it"

"again?"

"again"

"sigh"

meanwhile at the cabin

"professor shabazz dropped that meteorite from galaxy s into a bucket of acid"

"what? thats careless"

"i know! just when we were about to send a signal to the insect home world"

"black scientists are so clumsy"

"right?"

*sound of unwashed legs*