I cannot express enough how fucking weird it is to be in your mid to late 30s, going through puberty again, and figuring out basic things like "what is my clothing style" and "what cuts of dresses fit me well" or "how do I do makeup" and "wait what's my sexuality" https://twitter.com/vesaldi/status/1339593137988124672

Like. It's absolutely been worth it. And also it's a fucking lot.

I would have felt absolutely adrift in this if not for loving family and the incredible community of trans people I've managed to find. Many of us *need* community. We can't stumble through this stuff on our own while also Being An Adult as the world makes us be

Like cis people would not understand if I had called into work one day going "I'm 35 and having PMS for the first time ever and it's terrible so I'm going to be sick for a couple days just to cry thanks" but at least some other trans people got it and that helped me stay grounded

I remember in high school trying on different versions of Me to figure out who I was. I tried violin. For awhile I wore around a pendant with the Cancer symbol on it because I guess I thought I was going to be into astrology? I played Vampire the Masquerade for god's sake

Going through second puberty DID THAT AGAIN. There's a lot of "wait it turns out I was doing a bunch of stuff with my life I actually didn't enjoy so now I have to figure what I DO like" and the last several years have involved a lot of "is this who I am now? Hm, nah" assessments

So yeah. It's a lot. Have patience with yourself if you're going through it. Reach out to one another. We need to be lifelines keeping each other afloat out here.

(And this isn't even counting the weird part several years in of the "I guess I've accomplished most of my gender related goals.. now what the fuck do I do" plateau where transition isn't the new shiny anymore but you're hooked on making self actualization progress)