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My roommate and I are binging The Santa Clause trilogy because he’s never seen them.
It’s wild that the first one is a Christmas movie at all because for Judge Reinhold and Wendy Crewson’s characters, it’s a harrowing psychological family drama.
And while THE POLICE ARE ENACTING A STING OPERATION TO CATCH A MAN WHO BELIEVES HE IS SANTA CLAUS ON CHRISTMAS EVE ELVES WEARING JETPACKS ARE DEPLOYED TO SAVE THE DAY.
It makes sense that Tim Allen doesn’t like Judge Reinhold’s psychiatrist character for being a liberal cuck that is engaging in a war on Christmas.
The Santa Clause came out in 1994 and then the sequel came out 8 years later. Here we go.
This movie begins with Santa Claus having enacted martial law in the North Pole.
The Santa Clause 2 introduces Spawn rules for Santa’s powers.
Donald Trump watched The Santa Clause 2 and decided that the Toy Santa was an aspirational character.
He becomes a despot, is obsessed with creating coal jobs, uses the military to enact his will, locks kids in cages... I mean, the parallels are astounding.
But regular Santa is essentially a Marxist and the North Pole is a Marxist utopia? I mean, it is a classless, moneyless, government-less society. Everyone is equal. Everyone is provided basic human needs.
Or I guess basic elf needs.
Do the elves really need a school? They are seemingly created by magic and are thousands of years old. I think Santa just lied.
How come his wife doesn’t transform into Mrs. Claus? Some really double standards here on the ideal North Pole body.
Ah, this is rectified during the credits. Mrs. Claus has a dump truck.
Here we go, The Santa Clause 3.
The opening of this movie confirms: Santa Claus fucks.
The fireplace in The Santa Clause 3?
A nightmare.
I want it.
A nightmare.
I want it.
Martin Short is basically just an imposter in Among Us in this movie.
