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I am watching Wild Mountain Thyme with Old Vumman!!!! We open with the central casting shot of The Cliffs of Moher and OV squeaked with delight 
Christopher Walker is doing the WORST Irish accent in the history of time 
Here's some lad with a Ballsbridge accent, making a lacklustre attempt to Culchie Up. Actually MORE distressing than C Walken's travesty
Jamie Dornan is refusing to get C Walken his pipe until C Walken's accent improves.
Which means C Walken won't be getting his pipe.
Someone called Mick Muldoon is dead
Which means C Walken won't be getting his pipe.
Someone called Mick Muldoon is dead
There's Jamie Dornan making his bid to be the first president of a 32 County Ireland by representing ALL 32 Irish accents in ONE sentence.
In other news, Emily Blunt is smoking a pipe in the rain, in an attempt to seem interesting
In other news, Emily Blunt is smoking a pipe in the rain, in an attempt to seem interesting
Remarks from OV: "That's not an Irish dog "
Then
"That's not an Irish moon."
Then
"Was that girleen rowling in the mud?" (Emily Blunt's looking windswept.)
Then
"They all look like they suffer from depression"
Then
"WHAT YEAR IS THIS?!?!? Now? Tis not!"
Then
"That's not an Irish moon."
Then
"Was that girleen rowling in the mud?" (Emily Blunt's looking windswept.)
Then
"They all look like they suffer from depression"
Then
"WHAT YEAR IS THIS?!?!? Now? Tis not!"
Emily Blunt is wearing mid-shin flares and a lot of tartan, like she's in The Bay City Rollers
John Hamm is after arriving from Amerikay to shtale the farr-um out from under poor, gormless Jamie Dornan
...poor John Hamm...
Old Vumman is guessing his age. Her best offer is 63.
Old Vumman is guessing his age. Her best offer is 63.
John Hamm brought Jamie Dornan a white trenchcoat from New York. He is wearing it while feck-acting with a metal detector and staring balefully at John Hamm putting the moves on Emily Blunt who is smeared with mud.
She is now "giving back-chat" (OV) to John Hamm
She is now "giving back-chat" (OV) to John Hamm
Old Vumman has declared, "To be quite honest I'm finding this a bit depressing."
"It's not wan bit funny and the scenery doesn't make sense. Tis no Quiet Man."
...her mood is on the turn...
...her mood is on the turn...
Jamie Dornan's painted stripes of Tippex in his hair to demonstrate 'the passing of time'
...he's just had a Central Casting deathbed reconciliation with Christopher Walken
Cows. Drystone walls. Crows. Stew. Emily Blunt singing "Bye bye baby, baby bye bye, baby bye bye."
...he's just had a Central Casting deathbed reconciliation with Christopher Walken
Cows. Drystone walls. Crows. Stew. Emily Blunt singing "Bye bye baby, baby bye bye, baby bye bye."
Jamie Dornan has suddenly gone the full Normal People - "Suppose"
"I Dunno"
"I Dunno"
Emily Blunt is parading around to Swan Lake in a tartan shawl, a droopy oul skirt and filthy boots.
GO TO ZARA, EMILY, for the love of God, GO TO ZARA!!!
Now she's flown to New York to go to the ballet with John Hamm.
This is such SHITE. Its not even funny-bad, just BAD
GO TO ZARA, EMILY, for the love of God, GO TO ZARA!!!
Now she's flown to New York to go to the ballet with John Hamm.
This is such SHITE. Its not even funny-bad, just BAD
They are discussing suicide, Emily and Jamie. "Tis a good day to hang yourself," Jamie said
"I know how you feel," Old Vumman mutters
"I know how you feel," Old Vumman mutters
Emily Blunt has accused Jamie D of being one of the gays
Jamie D is going round with a shotgun.
Emily B has accused Jamie D of being in love with a dunkey
The electricity has failed!
Thunder and lightning!
Jamie is NEVER going to kiss Emily B
Jamie D is going round with a shotgun.
Emily B has accused Jamie D of being in love with a dunkey
The electricity has failed!
Thunder and lightning!
Jamie is NEVER going to kiss Emily B
We've got to 'the twist'. SPOILER
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER DON'T READ ANY FURTHER!!!!
(J Dornan thinks he's a bee. An actual insect. Its The Quiet Man meets Metamorphosis.)
"That lad needs to be in St Brendan's" sez OV (It used to be a psychiatric hospital.)
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER DON'T READ ANY FURTHER!!!!
(J Dornan thinks he's a bee. An actual insect. Its The Quiet Man meets Metamorphosis.)
"That lad needs to be in St Brendan's" sez OV (It used to be a psychiatric hospital.)
They've kissed!
