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Signs that you self-sabotage in your relationships:
A thread.
A thread.
Self-sabotaging is engaging in destructive behaviors that seem to have for goal to affect others or a situation, but truly only end up damaging you, what you worked on and what you could be succeeding at.
Here's what it looks like in relationships:
Here's what it looks like in relationships:
·You work hard to gain the attention and affection of someone, but then you can't help but do something stupid that creates ambivalence within the other person.
·You sometimes pretend that your partner isn't truly important to you.
·You sometimes pretend that your partner isn't truly important to you.
·You test the person you're deeply interested in, just to prove that they're undeserving of you or that you're undeserving of them.
·The success of the relationship causes you to overthink and stress, and to find relief, you stop doing what you know is best for the connection.
·The success of the relationship causes you to overthink and stress, and to find relief, you stop doing what you know is best for the connection.
·You believe that your toxic habits are stronger than your willpower, even when you know that these are very damaging to the bond you try to create.
·Every time you're about to express that you crave intimacy, you list all the reasons why it's best for you to be alone instead.
·Every time you're about to express that you crave intimacy, you list all the reasons why it's best for you to be alone instead.
·You convince yourself that women / men are the problem.
·You do have trauma related to your mother or father that you're unwilling to address. You pretend that everything is fine now, the past can remain in the past.
·You do have trauma related to your mother or father that you're unwilling to address. You pretend that everything is fine now, the past can remain in the past.
·You procrastinate on calling and texting, you cancel dates the moment the relationship starts feeling great. You blame it on your busy schedule.
·You make promises that you do not fulfill, even when you were very excited at the thought of them.
·You make promises that you do not fulfill, even when you were very excited at the thought of them.
·You claim that something invisible, an obscure force or a curse stops you from experiencing great things. Things can start well, but they never finish well, you say.
·Deep down you believe that you are inadequate, unworthy and unlovable.
·Deep down you believe that you are inadequate, unworthy and unlovable.
·You believe no one can understand you, therefore it's best to not take the time to really explain who you are.
·You truly believe that if things go too well for you, people will be jealous or will hate.
·You sometimes feel like your thoughts are irrational.
·You truly believe that if things go too well for you, people will be jealous or will hate.
·You sometimes feel like your thoughts are irrational.
·You constantly fall short. You know it would be best to apologize, but you decide it is best to not do so. (See how you plan your failure?)
·You're passive aggressive, you refuse to choose direct communication. Your partner should guess what is wrong.
·You're passive aggressive, you refuse to choose direct communication. Your partner should guess what is wrong.
·You seek for the attention and care of other wo/men, even if your relationship is fulfilling. You can tell when you're going too far, but you convince yourself that it's nothing.
·You casually reach out to an ex, when things start going amazing in your current relationship.
·You casually reach out to an ex, when things start going amazing in your current relationship.
·You deliberately refuse to do something beautiful or amazing for your partner, because of something they said or did that made you upset but that you also never communicated.
·You blame "temptations, distractions" as the reason why you can't be a great partner.
·You blame "temptations, distractions" as the reason why you can't be a great partner.
·The moment you feel that the other person is falling for you or sees how much you are beautiful within, you start to want to prove them wrong. You do things to repel them.
·You secretively aren't comfortable with your physical appearance. You don't think you're good enough.
·You secretively aren't comfortable with your physical appearance. You don't think you're good enough.
·You constantly look for signs that the relationship will soon be over. You don't understand that this is how you look for an exit.
·You gaslight your partner, you don't take accountability. Deep down you know it will lead to an ending.
·You gaslight your partner, you don't take accountability. Deep down you know it will lead to an ending.
·You avoid important conversations where your partner express needs that are left unfulfilled, you let them reach the conclusion that it's best to end things. You don't fight for what you want.
·I repeat: You don't fight for what you want.
·I repeat: You don't fight for what you want.
You have to understand that you do all these to avoid pain. You foresee how much others could hurt you and therefore you sabotage what is important to you.
You might believe now that it only hurts others or that you're a heart-breaker, but it only ends up hurting you.
You might believe now that it only hurts others or that you're a heart-breaker, but it only ends up hurting you.
Kindly ask questions below (please do not slide in my DMs, I won't respond) that will let me know what I need to write down when it comes to the thread about solutions.
