I just participated in this session on failure, and I learned so much from my fellow panelists and the amazing, supportive comments from attendees. I wanted to share a few concrete strategies that have helped me. #AGU20 #INV15 #AGUEarlyCareer https://twitter.com/RichmondLyfe/status/1339584023132139525

In grad school, my advisor normalized rejection, which really helped. I've passed his advice on to my own students: give yourself a day to mope and grieve, eat ice cream, cry, etc., and then dust yourself off and move on.

What I like about this is that it gives you space to feel perfectly valid emotions, but you don't let yourself get bogged down or to dwell. You can the review comments on the shelf and come back a week or a month later, and re-assess with a clear head and heart.

One of my UMaine colleagues has a Wall of Rejection in his lab (which I'm added when we're in person again). Every paper, proposal, or application rejection is printed and posted to the wall. You see that you're in good company, and that rejection is normal across career stages.

One thing I do personally: when I find that I'm not happy or excited for my friends or colleagues' successes, but I'm starting to feel bitter or jealous, that's a huge red flag that I'm in a bad place/burning out and need to address it with therapy, meditation, and time outside.

Your worth is not defined by your productivity. You are more than your CV. I try to treat rejection not as a personal failing, but as a lesson. What am I supposed to be learning here? How can I be as generous with myself as possible?

I am not always good at this. I can beat myself up as well as the next person. And successes don't inoculate you against these feelings, at least not for me. If we are projects, this makes sense, right? We're always in progress. We are never "done."

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." -- Samuel Beckett

Failing better, or falling forward, or whatever metaphor you want to use, is really the best we can ask of ourselves. Because usually a "success" is just an opportunity to keep trying.

Your homework: be as kind to yourself as you are to your closest friends. Give yourself the same grace, support, cheerleading, and benefit of the doubt you'd give them. Treat yourself the way you'd treat them when they "fail." The world beats us up plenty enough as it is.