A Thread (7 tweets), having kids is a fucking privilege. My wife gave birth to twin boys in Sept but those boys were donated embryos, my wife carried someone elses DNA for 9mths to finally give birth...

To two beautiful boys who had ultimately, been sitting in deep freeze for several years while the donor mother waited for the right people to give them to....

9 years the wife and I had been unsuccessful in IVF. My sperm and her eggs just don't get along. Naturally we just were never going to have kids. The countless times ppl would say "you never know, you might stop IVF and it'll just happen" and other lines similar.

Many Ppl just don't understand and never will what my wife and I have been through to get these boys in our life. I have not one ounce of DNA in my boys but that means jack shit in the grand scheme of things. 15 ivf cycles and even one failed with this donor previously....

And we had another donor before that where we had one cycle that failed. 4 or 5 miscarriages and the wife has had 2 endometriosis surgeries. It's a fucking painful journey emotionally and physically. Some folks can fall pregnant easily but there are heaps like us that can't...

Ppl just give up. We were ready to call it a day if the twins didn't work out, we were that close to having a childless life. We see ourselves, if you can believe it, as lucky ones. A decade of failure and now we are lucky...that's how fucked it can be out there...

The wife has had other ppl she knows stop being her friend coz she finally got pregnant, because they bonded so much over not being able to have kids. This breaks relationships, friendships, families. Having kids is a fucking privilege and there are so many that don't deserve it.