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Imagine if you have a relative who supports cannibals!
They put bumper stickers on their cars with the names of well-known cannibals. They wear hats with the slogan of a group that advocates pro-cannibal laws and policies. They get their news from Cannibal News Network. /1
They put bumper stickers on their cars with the names of well-known cannibals. They wear hats with the slogan of a group that advocates pro-cannibal laws and policies. They get their news from Cannibal News Network. /1
Years ago, in order to keep the peace, your relative asked that the family no longer talk about cannibalism.
Your relative says talking about it “ruins Thanksgiving” and “we just have to agree to disagree.” They continue to re-post ‘funny’ memes about cannibalism on FaceBook. /2
Your relative says talking about it “ruins Thanksgiving” and “we just have to agree to disagree.” They continue to re-post ‘funny’ memes about cannibalism on FaceBook. /2
When called out, they say both-sides eat people and “everyone has to eat”. They say they have nothing against humans, they don’t personally eat them, it’s unfortunate when it happens, but then maybe the victim’s families should have watched their loved ones more carefully. /3
They say: maybe they should have stayed in their own country, shouldn’t have been driving in that neighborhood, or should have responded faster to the policeman’s orders if they didn’t want to be eaten. “Maybe protestors actually want to be eaten. Have you considered that?” /4
Your relative says that it’s absurd when you ask if they’re ok with someone eating *them*. “Only those other people get eaten.” They say that now is not the time to bicker about who eats whom. They say they want to explain to your kids the virtues of trickle-down cannibalism. /5
You wonder what happened. Your relative wasn’t dropped on their head in the last 20 years. You never knew them to have any inclinations to eat people. They can hold a job. It’s like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. They say MSM is fake news to make cannibals look bad. /6
Your relative laments you no longer have any respect for them, that you don’t seem to want to talk with them. They complain to others in your family about how mean you are being to them. Your family tells you that cannibalism shouldn’t get in the way of family relationships. /7
Imagine if you have a relative who supports cannibals!
They refuse to talk to you about why. “We just have to agree to disagree.” They wear hats, sport bumper stickers, and give money to a powerful group of people who support cannibals in positions of power. /8
They refuse to talk to you about why. “We just have to agree to disagree.” They wear hats, sport bumper stickers, and give money to a powerful group of people who support cannibals in positions of power. /8
Their leader was accused of cannibalism by people with gnaw marks where arms and legs used to be. He was caught on hot mic talking about grabbing people by their chops. He appears at rallies with red stains around his mouth. His followers chant “cook them up! cook them up!”. /9
Their leader had the police use tear gas and clubs to clear a path through an anti-cannibalism protest, so he could stand in front of a restaurant and hold an upside-down cookbook. Their deputies are often arrested for cannibalism, but the group claims it’s a few bad apples. /10
Their deputies instruct agencies to stop women, children and men at the border, so the meat can be separated & processed. The group gerrymanders districts to elect pro-cannibals to keep people who do not want to be eaten from being able to vote. They call themselves patriots. /11
In a recent election, their candidate runs on a platform of 8 more years of eating people. About 47% of the electorate think the buffet is a great idea. In a decisive upset, he will not admit defeat. “The people will not eat themselves. Will someone think of the cannibals?!” /12
“We can’t allow an election to be stolen by the anti-cannibals!”, although there is zero evidence of election fraud and a preponderance of blood and human skulls. “Every cannibal vote must be counted. If God didn’t want us to eat people, why did he make them so delicious?” /13
His advocates call for opponents and dissenters to be rounded up and shot. Others brandish weapons in the streets, storm state government buildings, and beat up people they describe as “succulent”. They fly flags from their pickup trucks at rallies extolling cannibals. /14
Your relative wonders why everyone can’t just get along. It’s only politics. /15
Your relative laments you no longer have any respect for them, that you don’t seem to want to talk with them. They complain to others in your family about how mean you are being to them. Your family tells you that cannibalism shouldn’t get in the way of family relationships. /16
