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“The dead speak” is the dumbest opening line.
Fuck JJ.
Fuck JJ.
What is Kylo’s motivation to be so evil? Only JJ knows.
I don’t have a family name small local girl. I’m just Rey.
I see through the cracks in your mask.
They fly now.
This dialogue is SO BAD.
This dialogue is SO BAD.
And now a scene from Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone.
Are these the guys from LotR?
Kylo Ren seeing Rey’s electricity being like WTF but simultaneously like Damn girl.
We’re 44 minutes into it, but we’ve watched like 17 episodes.
What is the plot of this movie?
What is the plot of this movie?
BB-8 creates a new character.
How many characters in this movie “die”?
How many cities do they destroy in this movie?
There are like WAY more female sounding stormtroopers in this right?
Hey! It’s the actress from Killing Eve right?
Hux is the spy. Lol nah, he’s a coward.
You’re a PALPATINE. STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Why is every piece of this movie like 2 minutes long?
Let me breathe.
Let me breathe.
YOU DON’T KNOW ME.
This line up the blade with the wreckage of the Death Star and oh there’s a secret compartment is just some D&D puzzle bullshit.
We’re and hour and in Hubz is losing it! 
“How did they fuck this up this badly? We’re an hour in and there’s another new main character.”
“How did they fuck this up this badly? We’re an hour in and there’s another new main character.”
Ohh I forgot Hubz went to the bathroom when we saw it in theaters and missed the whole “align the blade bit” so I had to explain it to him. Lololol
[Chai Intermission]
And we’re back.
With a girl who grew up on a desert planet knowing how to surf.
With a girl who grew up on a desert planet knowing how to surf.
Hubz can not get over the blade alignment.
Good thing she trained climbing these wreckages her whole life.
This thing blew up all the way.
There were no pieces left.
There were no pieces left.
Oh yes. Of course you needed the blade to tell you that the bad Sith pyramid is hidden in his closet.
Jump scare.
It floats now. How does it float?
Dark Rey is fly as hell.
But I’m not into the transforming sharp teeth. Don’t think Ben would be either.
But I’m not into the transforming sharp teeth. Don’t think Ben would be either.
Isn’t it cute Rey using Kylo Ren’s lines from other other movie?
“GIVE IT TO ME.”
“GIVE IT TO ME.”
So much jumping. What is this the prequels?
Oh no I stabbed you. But I don’t want you to die.
So I won’t let you die but I am gonna leave my friends behind.
So I won’t let you die but I am gonna leave my friends behind.
Bye Leia.
They flew all the way back to the rebel base and Kylo Ren/Ben is still hanging out in the middle of the ocean.
I love this emo boy.
Also Han Solo is not even a space ghost right now. KRB is just straight up hallucinating.
Ah yes.
The line from the first movie.
The line from the first movie.
Wow the hobbit really has just as much screen time in this movie as Rose.
Why doesn’t Leia dissolve like the rest of them?
Ah yes the reason for this new droid.
You know how you can tell Rey is feeling emo?
Her hood is up.
Her hood is up.
They literally hid Luke’s robot hand because they had no idea whether he should have it as a force ghost.
Or $$
Or $$
X-wings that have been under water for 20 years and are like 60+ years old should definitely fly.
We’re making our last stand...
ONE LAST TIMEEEEE
ONE LAST TIMEEEEE
Who is on these ships? Where did they come from? Why were they under ice???
How do you know?
I feel it.
I feel it.
A GROUND INVASION.
Are they in space yet? Is there atmosphere? Is there gravity?
Are they in space yet? Is there atmosphere? Is there gravity?
Why did she come here again?
Why are there 1 million people here?
And why are they all speaking parseltongue?
And why are they all speaking parseltongue?
My spirit will pass into you. 
