When Mary said "If you had been with us, our brother would not have died."
Jesus didn't preach to Mary and Martha. He wept.

What you should do, when people are heartbroken and questioning the presence of God, is weep with them, comfort them, and then pray. That is what Jesus did.

Because there are a few people who think I am being dishonest theologically, small bible study for you.
The response to Mary was very different from the response to Martha. Because both of them responded differently to what was happening.

Martha still had faith. She said "Now that you are here, whatever you ask God can still do."

Mary on the other hand, was so disraught that when she got up to go and meet Jesus a crowd followed her thinking she was going to the grave to weep more. Jesus wept with her

To the one who had enough faith to be reassured, he reassured. To the one who was too broken and hurt for that, he loved and wept with.

When you see someone who expresses faith while hurting, of course you should encourage them and remind them with verses that may help them. But when you meet a Mary, keep your Bible verses to yourself at first. Weep. Pray.