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THREAD: ‘Tis the season for final project and assignments, which inevitably comes with emails from students asking for extensions for various reasons. This year in particular, a lot of people are struggling emotionally and/or mentally - understandably so! 1/
I’ve been having a lot of THOUGHTS about this lately, and I need to get them out of my head. I don’t sleep well when my brain won’t shut up, so here I am, sharing with the Internet. 2/
I understand that sometimes students genuinely have things that happen or come up that necessitate needing an extension. Life happens! So I do grant extensions, and almost never ask for “proof” of any kind. 3/
But sometimes I have complicated feelings when students email me and mention things like poor mental health or issues with depression, anxiety, etc. To be clear, I 100% believe that something like depression or anxiety is a real and valid barrier to completing work. 4/
And I have NEVER refused to help a student who mentions (voluntarily, I should add) struggling with depression and/or anxiety while trying to complete their work. I’ve either offered an extension or some other assistance. 5/
But when I do get those types of emails, there is a tiny little part of me that whispers, “well, what about me? When does my own struggle with depression and anxiety matter?” 6/
(Random tangent: I really dislike using the word “struggle” to describe dealing / coping / living with depression and/or anxiety. But I dislike other terms even more. 
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Logically, I know life is not a zero-sum game and offering appropriate help to my students when I can doesn’t take anything away from me. I also acknowledge there’s a power deferential at work between students and lecturers that leans in my favour. 7/
I also know that I’ve chosen to to keep many details of my personal life private, with respect to what I share with students. I have clear boundaries that I maintain, and it’s important to do so, for a myriad of reasons. 8/
But there are times, like tonight, when I wonder if I do my students a disservice by not sharing certain things, or by presenting myself as someone who has it all together - because like most social media content, that’s only part of the story. 9/
Obviously, I need to project a sense of confidence and leadership as a teacher / lecturer, and maintain a safe, positive, and otherwise supportive environment for students. And that can require literally keeping the class together. 10/
But I’m also human and fallible, and sometimes I just want to tell them that there are days when I’m overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. Days when I want to pull the covers over my head and shut out the world instead of going to work. 11/
Other times, I feel like shouting that they have no idea what it’s like inside my head, that they don’t know there are things in my life that threaten to consume me some days. 12/
I mean, would it do my students any good to know that some days I can’t bring myself to do the dishes or take a shower? That I ate ice cream and rice cakes for dinner tonight b/c anything else felt like too much work? 13/
Do they really need to know that the pandemic has made my anxiety worse, as has being separated from my family and closest friends by the Atlantic? 14/
Or that the biggest source of anxiety and depression in my life right now is something so deeply personal and emotional that I can barely bring myself to talk about with my best friends without getting upset? 15/
What good would come from sharing any of this with my students? In the end, I can’t ask for an extension for being an adult. And they wouldn’t be in a position to grant me one anyway. 16/
Life goes on. I have to support myself and no one else is going to pay my bills for me (despite my futile wishing otherwise). So I find ways to cope, like writing uncomfortably honest Twitter threads at 11:30 at night. 17/
I continue to help and support my students when I can, and keep most of my personal life out of the classroom. I tweet about my Space Boyfriend Poe Dameron and emphasise the more positive aspects of my personality. 18/
But I do also listen to that tiny little voice inside. And I wonder about how teachers and lecturers can be open and honest about their own mental health struggles, empathise with students, while still maintaining appropriate boundaries. 19/
I don’t have any grand ideas or solutions, just random, late-night thoughts. And perhaps a reminder that looks can be deceiving and no one really has it all together. End/
