Everyone who makes a mistake is known and loved by others. Not by you maybe, but by someone. It isn't fair to criticize people for something when you don't know them but then get upset when others criticize someone for the same thing when you do know them. Does this make sense?

I understand the defensiveness, I also want to defend friends and provide context and explanation, but people I love are fallible and can make mistakes. I can disagree with them for something they did, even when I know that I love them and I know that their intentions are good.

I don't know what I'm saying. On the one hand, let people criticize your friends when it's warranted. On the other hand, when YOU criticize someone, think "If this were my friend, would I want someone else to say this about them, because there's context here they might not know?"

It's hard to think this through. Criticism is valid when it's valid, and you shouldn't not criticize when it's valid, but when you do criticize, even when it's valid, be generous and leave room for people to make mistakes but still not be bad people?

We're all colleagues. Even if you don't know someone personally, that's your colleague. Are you being collegial? This goes both ways. Was the reviewer collegial? No, I don't think so. Are the criticisms about him collegial? I do think most of them have been.