I decided not to take any more freelance work on so I could give myself the time and space to work on my own stuff.

I’ve been working full time and freelancing part time for over 2.5 years and never prioritize my own projects because how dare I turn down money as a single mom?
When you’re a sole provider who has been through financial trauma, the pressure to constantly earn is almost like penance for your failures and the bad decisions you punish yourself for.

It sucks.
I still carry debt from a failed business venture several years ago. I carry shame alongside the debt, so I try to alleviate that shame with “look at all the extra work I’m doing to try to make it right”.

I’m tired of punishing myself this way.
I have an amazing job and get paid incredibly well. I have more than enough.

I’ll dig out of the debt sooner or later. I may never be as financially strong as I was before the business collapsed.

I’m learning to make peace with that.
No one talks about this shit. So I have carried that kind of baggage around in silence for years.

And I’m sharing it today because if you’re out there and have been through something similar, I see you.

Stop punishing yourself too, ok? Ok.
You can follow @AmberCadabra.
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