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Fell into a thread of dudes who think wearing a mask makes you less of a man, or weak, or somehow susceptible to having your masculinity brought into question. Rather than just remind them that I can squat their body weight in a mask I thought harder about it. A thread /1
In this thread there were talks that masks = feminine, gay: that unless you fight the laws youre not a man: and of course threats of violence women, children, and retail workers, and that, of course, sexual prowess is related to being a man.
This version of masculinity reminds me of a rubber ball in a small room. Bouncing back and forth off of every wall. The ball seems like the star of the program but really the walls are doing the work. Without the walls that ball would stop, or worse go wild outside the room.
The walls are the people in your life close to you: the women and the front line workers and your coworkers. You have based your masculinity on them and your ability to âbounce off them,â not on your ability to bounce. To me, thatâs the weakest a man can be.
When those walls crack, or worse leave, we see what happens. The ball loses its ability to bounce off them. Thatâs why we have such a high suicide rate in men. And why men are more likely to kill exes and spouses
Masculinity means a lot to us. As men we protect it and in a lot of ways is a thing to celebrate. But if your masculinity requires the subjection of those around you, itâs unsustainable and eventually, always under threat from yourself.
Celebrate your ability to be masculine without having to be propped up by those around you. Then you will be at your strongest and the comments of the weak wonât affect you.
Anyways. Just a thought. I ainât perfect but I have a boy to raise and Iâll be damned if heâs another statistic lost to our inability to allow men room to exist and grow. Fuck your masculinity box. Itâs time to save lives.
