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It’s challenging to do deep spiritually-formative and therapeutically-intensive work, especially for many of the people I’ve worked with navigating mid-life. Often sin has been reduced to behavior-management and many can’t see how it intersects with personality development or (1)
participation in systems (family, cultural etc.) IF they open themselves to this, it’s massively disruptive. So some double-down. The curious ones are now asking huge questions about who they are, how they show up, what they’re complicit in. This is often accompanied by (2)
theological and biblical deconstruction of some kind, too. It can impact marriages, loyalties to traditions and family, etc. (it’s the job of a good therapist/spiritual director to hold these things wisely and well for the de/reconstruction journey). This massive undertaking (3)
often unearths deep shame and profound questions. Who am I? What have I done? Where do I belong? The “working through” process of this wilderness sojourn takes time and isn’t neat and tidy. Often, the god they knew on the front end was manageable and obedient to their “ism.” (4)
But now God, in Christ and through the Spirit, is free to be God, and that opens up new pathways of freedom and renewal, new depths of repentance. This comes with a lot of dying, mostly to an old self and its self-important allegiances. One may lose relationships, face the (5)
guardians of a smaller orthodoxy committed to tribal allegiance rather than participation in God’s life. Too often, this journey isn’t guided by someone who is able to help them navigate thru deconstruction so it detours into cynicism or despair. It doesn’t have to. After the (6)
dark night comes the bright dawn. There is life, love, hope, and the outstretched arms of the father (who in Luke’s account appears very motherly) running toward you, absorbing the shame, reminding you of who you are, celebrating the return. But they’re often still reeling (7)
from the disorientation, stung by the losses, an unsteady adolescent in need of a grounding and secure mentor/mother/father. There is sometimes reconciliation work. Ongoing anger. Unprocessed trauma. So much grace needed. And new community required. BUT, that’s the wilderness (8)
sojourn. Who ever imagined it would be neat and tidy, up and to the right? Who ever said it was about conformity to the powers rather than transformation in Jesus? This is messy work. But as Gregory of Nyssa says, underneath the rust and dirt is treasure, is YOU, God-beloved (9)
and held securely, courageously entering into this new life after your disorienting Damascus Road, looking a whole lot different than you did before, participating in God’s life for the renewal of all things. This journey wakes me up in the morning. I love to watch it unfold. End
