It feels almost sacrilegious to be talking about Die Another Day so soon after John le Carré's death. But here we are, 34 weeks and 34 viewings later that's what I'm doing. https://twitter.com/andrewsillett/status/1337743859313471490

I've been watching the Alec Guinness Tinker Tailor this week, and instead of enjoying the last two episodes of that, here I am...

This, of course, leads to the Big Question: what would a le Carré version of Die Another Day look like?
Here's an attempt:

Act 1:
We are introduced to our protagonist, Miranda Frost, at Harvard. Striking, independent, unknowable. She has an awkward affinity with another out of place student, Tan-Sun Moon, the son of a modernising North Korean general who desired a western education for his son.

We catch up with post-university Miranda - she volunteers in a refugee camp, helping those disfigured by the war in Sierra Leone. She is frustrated by the hand-to-mouth nature of this aid work, and is melancholic about the western world's lack of interest in the conflict.

James Bond, a preternaturally cocksure MI6 agent, approaches her in this camp and offers her the chance to do some real good. The conflict is perpetuated by the sale of conflict diamonds - Bond tells her she can put an end to this black market.

Act 2:
In North Korea, Tan-Sun Moon (disillusioned with the west and his father's infatuation with it) illegally purchases conflict diamonds to feed the starving North Korean populace.

His beneficence has made him a popular figure in his country, and he is becoming increasingly estranged from his father (whose pro-western clique remains pre-eminent in Pyongyang).

At the Sydney Olympics Tan-Sun Moon is reunited with his fellow Harvard alum Miranda Frost. They rekindle their friendship, each attracted by the other's disillusionment with the west's moral torpor.

Act 3:
Frost and Moon's friendship deepens as she comes to appreciate his clear-eyed desire to alleviate the suffering of his countrymen. His stories remind her of the horrors she witnessed while volunteering in war-ravaged Sierra Leone.

Moon remains evasive on the nature of how he funds his famine relief. It is revealed that his father does not know the source of his funds, and that he is deeply suspicious of the cult building up around his son.

Inevitably Frost and Moon become lovers, and he explains to her that his programme is funded by the trade of conflict diamonds. Equally inevitably they fall out when Frost sees how uncaring he is about the human suffering this entails.

Act 4:
Frost is contacted by her handler, Bond. She confirms Bond's suspicion that Moon is involved in the conflict diamond trade. He asks her to obtain evidence of this that he can show to his superiors.

After a great deal of introspection and sultry walks at dusk, Frost decides to betray Moon and obtain the evidence Bond wants. She rekindles their affair via an argument about conflict diamonds, an argument which (unbeknownst to Moon) is being recorded.

The Olympics conclude, and Moon returns to North Korea. Frost hands the recording to Bond. She is sickened by her treachery, but consoles herself with the knowledge that the conflict diamond trade will cease.

Act 5:
Tan-Sun Moon lands in North Korea and is promptly arrested on a charge of plotting counter-revolutionary activities.

Moon is taken to a prison camp where he is met by the sight of the men who supported his famine relief programme being shot for their involvement with him.

Moon's father arrives at the prison to pass a sentence of death upon his son. We learn that he discovered the role conflict diamonds played in his son's activities, and that the fear of UN sanctions mobilised the country's leadership behind General Moon.

It is revealed that Bond had not needed the recording to convince his superiors, rather he had procured it for the benefit of General Moon, whose pro-western stance makes him a valuable ally.

In the final scene, we see Bond personally transporting conflict diamonds into North Korea, this time handing them over to General Moon, who uses these funds to pay the gangsters who have helped consolidate his hegemony within North Korea.

In return for the blood diamonds, Moon supplies Bond with valuable intelligence about the Chinese Communist Party.

In an epilogue we return to the refugee camp. Miranda Frost is still there, her activities have led to the death of her idealistic friend and the continuation of famine in his country, the situation in war-ravaged west Africa remains the same.

The hypocrisy and self-interest of the western intelligence community is clear, and cynicism abounds.

If the le Carré and Fleming estates are interested in pursuing this cross-over, do please get in touch. My rates are very reasonable.

Anyway, onto the Regular Features, which this week have been generously provided by @rsfrankl and her intrepid team of researchers/family.

I received a plethora of potential Shining Lights (from the relatively positive gender politics to the involvement of Madonna), but there was one clear winner:
Bond and Jinx making sweet love on a bed of conflict diamonds!

They submitted three Extras of the Week (I think these are in order the picks of @EleanorMartin, @rsfrankl and @JacobSlovin):
Mr Krug;
Bond and Jinx's overactive tongues;
The poor goon who gets lamped in the face when leaving the aeroplane bathroom.

And last but not least, Mr Krug. As well as being Eleanor's Extra of the Week, what did they think he was up to in the lair that is #Room42?

Ultimately they concluded, or perhaps Eleanor concluded, that his deal is that he's just a talented bon viveur and raconteur! His Fidel Castrato line brought the house down.

So thank you, @rsfrankl for giving up Thanksgiving for that experiment. If anyone similarly wishes to spend Christmas with 007 and Mr Krug, please get in touch!

Otherwise I'll see you all next week! Ta ta, pals.