ON LOCKDOWNS: Occasionally I see someone (so far, it's always someone with a family and an income they can bring in from home) arguing that America never had a "real" lockdown. Yes, I understand the larger point they're trying to make. This thread is about the insensitivity 1/x

and serious obliviousness in such a statement and how cluelessly people can fail to see others' experiences. I am one young person, who does not live with family, a recent college graduate. Here's how life has changed for me since March. On the Friday before Spring Break, my 2/x

friend and I hugged on the quad and wished each other a good spring break. She was going on a trip with her parents; I would be studying for my last round of finals as a mathematics major. Except for the dentist operating on me, that was my last experience of human touch. 3/x

The consequences of just that one thing have been serious. The need for bodily connection is primal and without it one gets crazy. Since that day, I haven't set foot on my campus or in a library or bookstore. I used to belong to a thriving religious community (Buddhist). It 4/x

has been virtual only, which in my case is pointless. Sitting meditation when one must keep an eye on the strength of the internet connection and the stability of the zoom connection is like texting while driving; it's inadvisable at best. Those relationships have faded and 5/x

weakened. I used to belong to local meetup and hobby groups, including for creative writing, girls who code, stoicism, and fitness enthusiasts. All are gone. I used to date. Seeing my therapist in person is the one and only part of my life that hasn't changed. I will die very 6/x

grateful that he committed to changing nothing in his patients' experience. (He sees one patient at a time, disinfects the office between patients, and has been an absolute soldier for us.) Now here's the point: I am FAR better equipped to handle this than most people. FAR 7/x

better. I have the support of my therapist. I am a pure introvert (100% on the Big Five test) who requires very little social interaction in general. I truly enjoy my solitary hobbies (reading, drawing). I have no family so feel no particular loss in that regard. I'm a good 8/x

autodidact who had no difficulty switching to virtual classes. Except for a brief period, my (parttime) job stayed stable and my income was the same. IOW, I am a BEST CASE SCENARIO among the large cohort in this country w/o a solid family, and I have been struggling mightily. 9/x

It is only by willpower and stubbornness that I haven't started cutting again just to deal with this. That something like a third of Americans under 40 are now suicidal is the least surprising fact of 2020. So call me a weakling; I won't disagree. Sit at home and discuss 10/x

with your lawfully wedded spouse who loves you and has hugged you twice today already how pathetic the Americans are who are having lockdown fatigue. Take a break from your zoom meeting with your boss who's paying you the same wage you made in 2019 to tweet about how we need 11/x

more stringent and strictly enforced lockdowns. Just don't pretend that, having read this far, you don't know you're completely of full of shit. /end

Thanks to all who read and shared this. Feeling heard is enormously valuable, particularly now.