finally breaking my silence on this vs just vaguely referencing it: i was groomed on the tkrb fandom by a 27y/o when i was 16. i can confidently say if i was 16 today & an anti, i would have STILL FALLEN INTO THE SAME TRAPS. i'll be talking about the ACTUAL SIGNS in this thread

firstly it's not the ship. the ship we shared was yasukiyo/anmitsu. it was the most unproblematic ship with an entire fluffy 12 episode anime about their SoL shenanigans with just the Mild Sprinkling of Historical Angst. still love that ship a lot honestly. but yeah

the 1st sign was that they actively engaged in nsfw stuff with me. they knew i was 16. they would send me nsfw stuff. yes i also wrote nsfw fanfic, yes everyone including minors get horny etc but if you're a minor & an adult is 100% ok with talking about nsfw shit with you. RUN

no goddamn adult in their right mind would send someone they KNOW IS A MINOR nsfw stuff. even if "oh i know you'd enjoy this" NO. NO. every minor who even TRIES to broach the topic with me i shut down. IF AN ADULT TRIES TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT NSFW STUFF. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

the 2nd sign is that i was their "best friend". the person they talked to the most. and then their "only friend". i'm sorry but if an adult's best friend is a MINOR, they are either after something, or they have MASSIVE PROBLEMS they need to sort out. and sort out WITHOUT MINORS.

obviously society is built off healthy friendships btwn adults and kids (teachers to students, big bro/sis programmes etc) but if an adult's "only/best friend" is a minor that isn't healthy. that isn't healthy in any way shape or form. not to mention COMPLETELY UNMONITORED

groomers will go out of their way to emphasize the "uniqueness" of "our bond" and "how special it is" and "you're my bestest friend no one is as good as you" NO. NO. NO. it's totally fine to think a kid is pretty cool but when an adult starts attaching you to their hip. RUN

fun point: they will oftentimes use "how special our bond" is as a weapon against the kid they're grooming. if you ever try to say something back against them they whine about how "even you're betraying them". they'll pull out all the stops. suicide threats, everything

mine faked a suicide by tossing their phone against an incoming train. i nearly killed myself that afternoon as well until they revealed Lol I Was Just Testing You! it's your fault i faked it because you made me sad that you didn't send me pictures of yourself in your new red bra

minors rarely know how to shut down this sort of manipulation down. hell even adults struggle with it. going from We Are Best Friends to I Am This Adult's Only Tether To the Mortal Realm is fast and furious and honestly even if you were. LET THEM DIE. THEY'RE USELESS

but i ASSURE u that (unfortunately) these groomers will not perish if you do not send pictures of your 16 year old body in lingerie. but i digress. onto the next sign

third sign is they carefully cultivate the friendships you share so that if you try to criticize them. somehow they'll be faster than you. somehow your mutual friends will think you, the minor, is the crazy one. adults have more social experience. they WILL use it against you

if you ever feel afraid to talk back to someone who should be your friend. afraid to criticize them. afraid to call them out in any way, shape or form bcus of backlash. sorry but it's already too late for the entire friendship or relationship. they poison the well and do it early

they achieve this by basically complaining about you first, constructing the narrative before you've even realized something is wrong. if you ever get the feeling anything like that has occured, that everyone is against you, GET OUT. RUN. RUN. RUN. YOU CAN FIND NEW FRIENDS. RUN

IF YOUR FRIENDGROUP IS SO TOXIC YOU FEEL YOU MUST FALL IN LINE AND CONFORM OR LOSE EVERYONE IT IS ALREADY TOO LATE. IF YOUR FRIENDGROUP IS SO TOXIC YOU CANNOT VOICE YOUR CONCERNS ABOUT AN ADULT MANIPULATING YOU IT IS ALREADY TOO LATE. YOU HAVE LOST THEM ALREADY. LEAVE

the most damning sign i should have noticed, that others tried to make me see, that i was too blinded to realize: THEY DID THIS TO OTHER GIRLS BEFORE. I WASN'T EVEN THE FIRST VICTIM.

IF ANOTHER PERSON COMES TO YOU. WARNS YOU OF SOMEONE. LISTEN TO THEM. maybe bs? but PROBABLY NOT

yes ofc some petty ass ppl might fake smth to ruin friendships but if u even SUSPECT there's a grain of truth to it. if they bring evidence and even more so if it is irrefutable. DO NOT SHUT IT DOWN LIKE I DID. LISTEN. if ur adult really is your friend they'll understand

and if they don't, if they freak out at the mere mention of you suspecting them, if they ESPECIALLY NAMEDROP THEIR PREVIOUS VICTIMS AND BEGIN BADMOUTHING THEM. RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. THIS WAS THE BIGGEST SIGN THAT COULD HAVE SAVED ME BUT I DIDNT SEE

if you see this happening to you, PLEASE, ANY OF THIS, RUN. IT WILL RUIN YOU. IT PUT MY LIFE ON PAUSE FOR AN ENTIRE 3 YEARS. I NEARLY DIED 6 TIMES BEFORE MY 20s BECAUSE OF THE STUPID SHIT I WAS GROOMED INTO DOING. THEY WILL TELL YOU "WE HAVE SMTH SPECIAL" NOTHING IS WORTH THIS

if you see this happening to someone else. SAY SOMETHING. OH MY GOD SAY SOMETHING. when i was groomed NO ONE SAID A THING. when we met irl PEOPLE CHEERED IN SUPPORT. when they bought me nsfw doujins and nsfw roleplay and everything, everything, people THOUGHT WE WERE CUTE

IT IS NOT CUTE. A MINOR AND AN ADULT FLIRTING BACK AND FORTH ON TWITTER EVEN "JOKINGLY" IS NOT CUTE. WRITING NSFW FANFIC TOGETHER IS NOT CUTE. TRAVELING UNMONITORED OVERSEAS TO MEET THEM WAS NOT CUTE. IF YOU SEE ANYONE DISPLAYING ANY OF THESE SIGNS. SPEAK UP PLEASE

funnily enough: this was the time before antis but my groomer actually had anti traits, they hated on any "tantou" ships bcus "they look young that's gross", meanwhile grooming me, poured boiling water on me when i didnt fuck them, etc: yes, being an anti won't save you

in fact the very toxic cliques of anti culture (which comes from kpop. i see you) and how hive-mindey it is and how you HAVE TO FALL IN LINE AND THINK THINGS ARE X OR Y OR YOU'RE OUT YOU LOSE ALL YOUR FRIENDS... puts kids in an EXTREMELY VULNERABLE POSITION FOR GROOMING. HELP

i honestly despise some proshippers despite thinking antis are annoying because they then turn around and ignore how grooming IS STILL A THING. IT IS STILL MASSIVE PROBLEM. will antis help? absolutely not. BUT IT STILL EXISTS. THIS ENTIRE CULTURE OF ANTIS SPRUNG UP FOR A REASON

it sprung up because of children realizing the world DOES NOT CARE ABOUT CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE and grasping at straws trying to defend themselves. it sprung up from traumatized adults at me trying to find a solution. but there isn't a perfect solution. but i can teach you the signs

tldr: if an adult shares nsfw stuff with a minor, RUN
if an adult overly emphasizes the "special" quality of their friendship with a minor, RUN
if an adult cultivates a space where minors are afraid of speaking up lest their lose all their friends, RUN

IF SOMEONE COMES TO YOU ABOUT AN ADULT WITH EVIDENCE THEY'RE SHITTY. RUN. RUN. RUN. IT IS NOT WORTH THE RISK. JUST GO. YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND NEW FRIENDS I ASSURE YOU. I PROMISE YOU. LEAVING FRIEND GROUPS IS ALWAYS SCARY BUT THE PAIN IS NEVER WORTH STAYING. RUN

i see ppl qrting my other tweet with the same hive-mindey points and all i feel is fear for them. i've been through too much shit to care about harrassment honestly but they're all in such vulnerable positions and i implore you, come read this thread, REMEMBER THE SIGNS

even if you came here to hate on me, that's fine, please read this thread, please remember the signs, i don't care, i forgive you for whatever, i was a horrible horrible kid who sent death threats to people for fun, i feel you, i get you, the fear that the world is out to get you

WAIT. I JUST GOT REMINDED OF ANOTHER ONE. if an adult says “don’t tell anyone, this is our little secret” or whatever. ABSOLUTELY TELL SOMEONE. TELL EVERYONE. DONT KEEP IT A SECRET NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THEYRE UP TO SOMETHING DO NOT TRUST IT