Something happened in my first year of college that had a big impact on me. Storytime! A thread

I thought the world of myself. I joined law school having topped the entrance exam. I had received a national award from the president of India for writing poetry. I played sports. I thought I was cool.

Why was being cool important?

One thing I craved at that age was to belong. To be part of a group.

I found a group in college I liked & hung out with. We sat together in class. We went on a trip together.

One of the kids had her birthday coming up. I was looking forward to it.

But she did not invite me. Everyone else got an invite.

It made me very sad & made me question myself. What is wrong with me?

1. Is it because I cannot speak good English?
2. Is it because I am broke?
3. Does she think I am a loser?

4. Some people made fun of the clothes I wear. Is it because of that?
5. Am I weird?

It made me incredibly sad. I found evidence that I was not considered to be one of them. I was not wanted. I was not valued.

Some of you may relate to this. We want to belong, to be wanted, we do not want to be invisible.

I learned over the years that we can only find our tribe after we become the person we are destined to become. To seek to belong before that will never have happy endings.

It would take me many more years and much meandering journey before I will find who I am, who I want to be, and what is going to become a defining purpose of my life.

I would eventually become a person people would gravitate towards. But that was not how I was when I was young.

Good thing was that this incident made me want to seek out self-improvement. That was not the answer, but it was not a bad outcome either.

I started asking myself:

1. How can I learn to speak better English?
2. How can I develop a better personality?
3. Should I go to the gym and lift weights so I look better?
4. Would it make a difference if I was earning a lot of money?
5. Will life be better if I get a high-paying, glamourous job?

I also tried to find communities outside of college.

I found the startup community.

I was blogging and a community built up around that.

I built CLAThacker, an online community of people trying to crack CLAT.

Starting to teach was a turning point too, as I realized instead of trying to belong I can create a place where others can belong!

I eventually found a chance to work on building IDIA, a community I was very proud of.

And of course, I found my tribe and got to work with them in the trenches while building iPleaders and LawSikho.

Continuous learning can solve all your problems, big or small. What skill will you learn next?