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Every woman with daddy issues wishes her dad cared enough, was present enough and was strong enough to protect her, and stop her from picking the wrong men
She rebelliously covets freedom until she gets it and things go wrong, only once it's too late does she wish for boundaries
She rebelliously covets freedom until she gets it and things go wrong, only once it's too late does she wish for boundaries
Women, like children, overvalue freedom and underestimate its responsibility, which is why they're habitually resentful of the authority they're beholden to, and it often takes them getting badly hurt to appreciate patriarchal authority's not blindly oppressive, but protective.
The very girl who defied her father's wishes out of resentment for the limits he placed on her, is the same girl who wishes he'd protected her & done something to stop her from fucking up down the line.
Freedom is attractive to her until it hurts. Then all of a sudden, it isn't.
Freedom is attractive to her until it hurts. Then all of a sudden, it isn't.
She wants to be free to fail right up until the very moment she does and she asks "why did you let me fail?"
The key with women is to give them the illusion of choice, but to gently steer their path. This is how you protect them from themselves without offending their dignity.
The key with women is to give them the illusion of choice, but to gently steer their path. This is how you protect them from themselves without offending their dignity.
If you do not guide them at all and give them complete freedom to mess up, they will fuck up their lives
If you are aggressively strict in limiting them, they will either break, or resent you, plot against you, and seek to sabotage you
They need to feel uncaged whilst being led
If you are aggressively strict in limiting them, they will either break, or resent you, plot against you, and seek to sabotage you
They need to feel uncaged whilst being led
Female psychology has echoes of child psychology in it.
A child likes to be taken as seriously as an adult, in much the way a woman likes to be taken as seriously as a man.
Both resent the authority they are subject to, but neither can prosper without oversight.
A child likes to be taken as seriously as an adult, in much the way a woman likes to be taken as seriously as a man.
Both resent the authority they are subject to, but neither can prosper without oversight.
Effectively, they are dependants who wish they were independent.
But the wish for independence is purely egotistical, for just like a child who runs away from home and finds how difficult it is alone returns, the single woman is always, deep down, wanting a man to care for her.
But the wish for independence is purely egotistical, for just like a child who runs away from home and finds how difficult it is alone returns, the single woman is always, deep down, wanting a man to care for her.
So they want to be taken care of.
But they also want to be free.
And yet they want to feel safe.
But you will not be safe if you are free, and so if you wish to be protected, you necessarily give up some freedom to be so.
Many women don't understand any of this at all.
But they also want to be free.
And yet they want to feel safe.
But you will not be safe if you are free, and so if you wish to be protected, you necessarily give up some freedom to be so.
Many women don't understand any of this at all.
So women occupy a paradox
Egotistically, they wish to be free and not subject to man's authority
Yet when they suffer, they instinctively seek the protection that would subject them to that very authority
Egotistically they wish to lead
But in their hearts they wish to follow
Egotistically, they wish to be free and not subject to man's authority
Yet when they suffer, they instinctively seek the protection that would subject them to that very authority
Egotistically they wish to lead
But in their hearts they wish to follow
Women want the fruits of freedom, but none of the costs associated with it.
And the universe doesn't care.
They can be free at the cost of their femininity, or they can retain their femininity at the cost of their freedom - but they cannot have both.
And the universe doesn't care.
They can be free at the cost of their femininity, or they can retain their femininity at the cost of their freedom - but they cannot have both.
"Why can't I have my freedom and be feminine?!"
The answer to this is simple:
Self-reliance requires the adoption of masculine traits, you cannot be simultaneously masculine and feminine any more than you can be concurrently young and old - they're mutually exclusive states.
The answer to this is simple:
Self-reliance requires the adoption of masculine traits, you cannot be simultaneously masculine and feminine any more than you can be concurrently young and old - they're mutually exclusive states.
"But what about the yin-yang symbol from ancient Chinese metaphysics which shows the masculine contains feminine, and the feminine contains masculine?"
To possess a degree of something in a diluted amount which merely influences the whole, is not the same as embodying it fully.
To possess a degree of something in a diluted amount which merely influences the whole, is not the same as embodying it fully.
If she resents male authority and worships freedom, she should be fully informed of what this entails:
-She must work all her life and pay for everything
-She must protect herself physically and mentally
-She must take responsibility for all mistakes
-She is not free to be soft
-She must work all her life and pay for everything
-She must protect herself physically and mentally
-She must take responsibility for all mistakes
-She is not free to be soft
When a woman asks to be free, and to be treated and respected like a man, she can only truly be so if she pays the same costs as a man, and this is what a man pays to possess the authority he holds that is so easily resented.
Lesson: authority comes with burden, tons of it.
Lesson: authority comes with burden, tons of it.
When you realise man's struggles, and the burden he bears to wield the authority he does rather than blindly resent him, you gain the capacity to appreciate him, his sacrifice, and everything he does to make your life easier
Unfortunately few women reach this level of awareness.
Unfortunately few women reach this level of awareness.
Yes, when a man is telling you what you can and cannot do, you will not feel like he is making your life easier, on the contrary, you may see him as the obstacle and the problem rather than the solution, but if he is a good man who cares for you, his commands are never arbitrary.
So really the most important thing for a woman, is to be able to trust the competence and compassion of the man she has made herself subject to, and thus the responsibility of.
Once she accepts that man, she must follow fully and in gratitude, it is not her place to command him.
Once she accepts that man, she must follow fully and in gratitude, it is not her place to command him.
A woman who fails to follow is, in her own role, incompetent.
Of course to put one's fate and destiny in the hands of the other, to take the hands of the wheel and hand the helm to another is both daunting and frightening.
But so is being alone, fending for yourself.
Of course to put one's fate and destiny in the hands of the other, to take the hands of the wheel and hand the helm to another is both daunting and frightening.
But so is being alone, fending for yourself.
Freedom, like everything, has costs.
If you're willing & capable of fronting those costs, then you've truly earned it
But if you get it, hate it and decide it's not for you?
Then tough.
Once you coarsen yourself to become self-reliant, you will become undesirable to most men.
If you're willing & capable of fronting those costs, then you've truly earned it
But if you get it, hate it and decide it's not for you?
Then tough.
Once you coarsen yourself to become self-reliant, you will become undesirable to most men.
So before you go on your journey, seeking your own path.
Resenting your father, failing to appreciate him.
Think long and hard about what you're willing to give up and pay, to be free from man's authority.
Because the cost is high, and once you have it, there's no going back.
Resenting your father, failing to appreciate him.
Think long and hard about what you're willing to give up and pay, to be free from man's authority.
Because the cost is high, and once you have it, there's no going back.
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Thank you.
-IM
http://audiobook.tellyoursonthis.com
Thank you.
-IM
