idk if we are ready to talk about this but the tendency to avoid having kids and pursue ever higher levels of education is just a weird internalization of deadening neolib bureaucracy as a parent figure

if I’m just careful enough and I do all the right paperwork I won’t be evil

this is why we all yell at each other about going to therapy, lol, every template for emotional intimacy we have has been coded in classrooms and offices

MAN i’m so mad about this rn

feel like an alien sometimes when I, as a homeschool kid, realize I am wired *completely* different WRT important or vulnerable conversations. their frequency, whether or not they should be had at all, how they should be thought about, how they should be conducted

what is this bullshit about everybody just saying how they feel into a space 6 feet to the left of the person they’re addressing?

why can’t we go: this is how I am suffering. this is what I think would make me happy.

instead we snivel and writhe our way around the real conversation and call ourselves enlightened because the language we use to understand and describe it is the same as the contemporary clinical vocabulary

I stand athwart contemporary self understanding yelling BULLSHIT

on the other hand of course it is intensely difficult to set forth any real emotion because the language of dependence, of all of the antiquated and abiding human drives, is so deeply stigmatized

so you have a bunch of 30 year olds who think it’s good that they’ve never had their heart broken because it means they’re not codependent

really wretched to realize someone has been taught their whole lives to eschew dependency, to skirt around grief and anger and fear and desire by labeling it a fully subjective experience — and so none of his business, really