I've invented a great new way of committing suicide. It's much better than other methods, cheap, easy, 100% guaranteed to work as long as you have the willpower to follow through with it.

Just hold your breath!

I call it the "Oxygen-in, Oxygen-out" method.

I can prove that it works using my knowledge of physics. If you hold you breath for long enough, your body will run out of oxygen, as there's no flow of oxygen in but oxygen gets used up at a nonzero rate.

In practice most suicidal people don't have the willpower to go through with it, but that's just because they're lazy and don't really want to die. If they really wanted to die, they'd hold their breath for long enough.

I heard that it worked for my uncle's dogwalker's sister.

There don't seem to be any good quality studies in the literature showing that it works, but again that's just because most people are lazy and have low willpower.

#Dieting