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Had a really good therapy session today where my therapist observed that I often seem to fall back to the "fairness" of a situation when processing it, and get stuck there.
Making me thinking about the concept of "fair", which is fundamentally reductive and usually for kids.
Making me thinking about the concept of "fair", which is fundamentally reductive and usually for kids.
"Fair" says "If this person got X, I want X too."
"Just" says "Let X go to those who need it."
Do you see how "fair" completely erases the context, and sets up a false equivalency?
"Just" says "Let X go to those who need it."
Do you see how "fair" completely erases the context, and sets up a false equivalency?
We often have to allow "unfairness" in the service of justice or stability or whatever.
"Fairness" isn't guaranteed by the universe, it's a promise made by a parent to a kid in order to extract good behavior.
"Fairness" isn't guaranteed by the universe, it's a promise made by a parent to a kid in order to extract good behavior.
As a kid, sure, enforce your contracts and demand fairness from the people promising it. But in life we ought to aim higher, we ought to seek justice or pursue internally motivated goals.
If we find ourselves seeking fairness we may be acting from our inner child. Red flag!
If we find ourselves seeking fairness we may be acting from our inner child. Red flag!
Feeling a bit out of it after that session TBH, I hope the above thread makes sense. I need to figure out how to come to terms with my inner child's sense of unfairness.
Life has been unfair, sure. But also life's been unfair in my favor a ton, too. It's not a meaningful point.
Life has been unfair, sure. But also life's been unfair in my favor a ton, too. It's not a meaningful point.
