I'm not thrilled that anyone takes a job out of desperation, but I'm going to take a few glances at that. #OnlyFans

A young person graduates from school and can't find a job and joins the military out of necessity. They may face horrific institutionalized conditions and kill and maim humans or be killed or maimed in the course of their work. After it is done, get dropped kicked into society.

Not a great deal for them. Can't say I blame them for taking an opportunity when things were dire. Poor young person. At least they have some segment of the population giving lip service to them for their service.

Alright. Let's squint at another young person, today, in this economy, with this current hellish state of student loans, with this covid pandemic, and say to them, "You better pay your bills! Why did you sign up for loans if you couldn't pay them back! Personal responsibility!"

So they have a shite retail job that provides no benefits, no sick time, and they are vital frontline workers treated like shit and still can't pay their bills. If not the military, maybe there is some other dangerous low barrier to entry role we'd be happy to see them try?

Oh? Why not go to a degree mill and get yourself in more debt. Maybe get an unpaid internship as you work towards an MBA. Maybe wind up half coerced, fully desperate in a career they hate and burn out by 35. Are you happy with them now? Miserable like you enough?

Still, yet another young person dropped squarely into adulthood, bills, pressure, no opportunities. I KNOW you'd shit your pants if they stood on the street and begged. You'd say, "why should an able-bodied young person beg? Why, in my day [blah fuckin blah]."

They create an #OnlyFans account or something like it as a creator. Sin! The sin! ok. Were you going to pay their bills or is that too socialist or not what you meant by Feminism or by community or whatever? Were you? I don't think so.

They are not manipulated by their partner nor by a sleazy pornographer. They weigh the decision with a heavy heart, but just really as heavy as mine was when I did construction. It wasn't what I wanted! but, you know, a job.

And whether you are sex positive in some woke way or conservative, if you are giving them shit, clutching pearls, really angry masked as concern over their utilization of agency to make a choice that might not be their DREAM JOB, well, you have some things twisted.

When everyone was asking their friends and family to buy their books, to hire them as a DJ, to facilitate their multi level marketing scheme, to hire them as the wedding photographer, to in some way help, I know people cringed. "What makes them think they can be that?"

With the base position a casually unstated "fuck you" when the job does not involve nudity, I am not surprised by how this self-employment through sex work is getting shit on.

When sex work was stripping or porn by strangers, I think liberals were more supportive, even though many never crossed the empathy divide to not denigrate the work as, "Poor thing! if only they had choices!"

Now that it is your children's teachers, healthcare workers, your family, and the links are around and it isn't just exposed via a random trip to a strip club or video rental where someone finds out, now it is a big deal?

It is a big deal because your children can find images of people in their life... naked and doing adult things? And the performer must be fired? oh, fuck off with all that. Stop doxing. Parent your kids. Be a non-creep supporter for the sex workers in your life.

I've had a lot of friends and some family in sex work. Here's some pointers on how to support without being a creep:

1. Follow their lead. If they don't want family to know, don't share it.
2. Based on your relationship, don't view it and don't comment on it. Use self control.

3. Be willing to hear what it is like for them without being squeamish. Set aside your shit to be a friend. There are hurdles to being a performer of any kind. It is hard to find anyone willing to listen.

4. Set your curiosity laden with judgment aside and talk to them. Don't ostracize them for this job.

5. Don't send the nudes you saw online and ask if that is them. Don't do this to anyone.

6. Don't be gross. If they were working as a server in a restaurant, would you expect them to serve you like a customer when you visit? No? This is a job for some, not an identity. (I mean, it could be someone's life dream. Nothing wrong there either.)

7. Don't try to "help" them get out of it unless they ask you for help getting out of it.

8. Sex work isn't a joke for you to make when they are not around. ie, "Did you see so and so is doing porn now? lolz."

9. Save your pity.

10. Find out if they want you to share their links or if they want you to fuck off while they make some money to pay their bills because weren't you lecturing about personal responsibility and young people just the other day?