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I have about 2-3 work related breakdowns a year on top of whatever personal breakdowns. After 15 years working like this everything I do is a scam and not worth it, am still dirt poor, living in a shitty mouldy flat, and don't really have any life to go home to after work https://twitter.com/Peavolov/status/1338409094269476864
It won't be appreciated doing all that unpaid work, but they will notice when you can't do it anymore. I can't enjoy anything I make cause I either hyper fixate on its faults or am reminded too much of how traumatic the consequences of the work were 
I am not particularly skilled at what I do, I just force it through with extra labour. If I had a responsibilities outside work or relationship requiring my time I would not be able to do this. I've tried juggling both in the past and I just end up making it a bad time for all
Perfectionism, or whatever you want to call it, is totally deluded and completely removed from reality. I have a lot of work to do rewiring myself to not define myself based on my value to others or my productivity
Like when I was about 14 or so I was so depressed and suicidal, but all that got me through it was thinking "oh well I guess I can just try to be useful to other people at least". Spoilers: didn't really work out hahaha, just ended up stressing other people out as well anyways
You can't be everything to everyone, ya just end up with nothing really from disappointing people. Boundaries are good, taking care gf yourself is good.
I've not worked in Animation since February. This is the only break I have ever deliberately taken in 15 years
I've not worked in Animation since February. This is the only break I have ever deliberately taken in 15 years
I tried my best for all the projects I had staff working on to pay them as well as I can and make sure they take lunch and get them out the door on time, even if my own failings as a person meant I ended up working more cause of some idiotic ideal of what I wanted 4the project
And am sure that stressed them out too, as well as probably undermining their own confidence thinking their work wasn't good enough. It's always just a matter of not enough budget and not enough time, for all ya'll I've worked with I believe 100% in ye and yer capabilities
Am aware the privilege I have, being white and male, has insulated me from any real damage of course. Was taking to a friend about exceptionalism how it is often used as a way to promote "good" immigration (as per the recent German vaccination development member)
It's such a bullshit equivocation with bootstrap culture. Just because people have no career ambitions or are content in "mediocrity" so they can live how the live does not mean they have less value or can be denied dignity, especially when many are already disadvantaged
Celebrate mediocrity! Coasting through life, taking it easy! If it helps just pretend you're a Neo lib politician!
Three bonuses in a year of a pandemic while not paying student nurses? Etc etc
We should all have their confidence hahaha
We should all have their confidence hahaha
I am able to function well even on very extended periods of little to no sleep, I can try to justify to myself that rationing food due to not paying myself for my work and using the budget elsewhere is a neccesary thing to get it done, but that is just self destructive mania
I teach and I see students falling into this trap far too easily. Best I can do is try to be honest with them about my experience. Stuff like this can't be sustained, experienced people burn out, inexperienced people over stretch themselves to fill the gaps, everything suffers
I can say all this because I earn a living through teaching. I may be poor but it grants me that freedom at least. I understand there are many silently suffering in similar situations some even thinking they like it. There is hope in organising with your fellow workers
And yet again in nearly all my work I have had leverage to say no to this but I still fell into it, it is so embedded in the culture
