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During a recent, impactful conversation I was able to have on the interview trail, the topic of the importance of diversity, advocacy, and allyship was addressed.
I want to share some of what I shared and what I learned in that conversation.
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I want to share some of what I shared and what I learned in that conversation.
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The most fascinating thing about being underrepresented in any space, is watching others debate your lived experiences as if they are some abstract ideology....while you just sit there shocked into silence at the audacity of it all.
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One thing I’ve been grateful for in my growth as an advocate for myself, but also others, is the ability to overcome that initial moment of shock and take action towards impactful conversation.
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With that being said, I’ve also come to learn the importance of protecting my peace. And I OFTEN actively choose not to engage in those conversations when I don’t want to.
(and yes it truly comes down to what I want in that moment, because I don’t owe anyone anything).
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(and yes it truly comes down to what I want in that moment, because I don’t owe anyone anything).
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So I think it’s important that as allies, we all acknowledge the important of educating ourselves without simultaneously emotionally burdening our peers.
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5/x
I assure you, that “discourse” you think is so important to have with minoritized communities can be achieved nearly in it’s entirety with google searches.
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Because guess what? Many individuals in those communities have already completed the intellectual burden of spelling out their lived experiences for you. And I assure you that you can find it somewhere on the internet.
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It’s also important to make sure you have truly cultivated meaningful relationships with a person before you bombard them with emotionally laboring conversation, and only after you’ve truly put in effort to exhaust as much of the available literature out there as you can.
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Not because that relationship gives you the right to do so, but because that relationship gives you the proper tools in your own arsenal to help them recover from the emotional toll you’ve put them under.
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Don’t get me wrong, I love to educate my colleagues about topics that I appreciate to be important. (I speak for myself in this instance as to make no assumptions)
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However, don’t ever assume that this conversation becomes easier to have simply because I’m better at partaking in said dialogue. I’m happy to have had mentors who have helped me navigate how to effectively engage in these conversations.
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So if you’re asking to truly educate yourself and be better, go for it (after doing the appropriate research beforehand). But don’t engage in these conversations if they are nothing more than an intellectual exercise for you.
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Because you’re literally playing “what if” with someone’s life....and that’s never okay.
Remember, just because you refuse to accept a fact, that does not make it any less of a fact.
13/Fin.
Remember, just because you refuse to accept a fact, that does not make it any less of a fact.
13/Fin.
