A group of high school students asked to interview me recently. Among the zoom questions on what led you to work in Haiti, what challenges did you face, was:

Have you ever not been believed when you said you were a doctor because you were female? 1/n

I wanted them, all female, to never have that nagging feeling they weren't believed, that they weren't on top of their game, when they were totally correct, because they were female.
I thought about saying
a) yes
b) more times than you can imagine
and decided to compromise

I told them I carry my medical license on every flight I take (and I used to take those a lot when flying was a thing).
I had been told too many times, when the call came out for a doctor on board:
Honey, we need a real doctor. We don't need a nurse.

My reflex is to say, don't put down nurses.
(A nurse would be much better at that needed IV)
But having been told to take a seat while a retired male psychiatrist approaches the patient with chest pain, I've never wanted a passenger to die because of sexism so I carry my license

I remember the sheer relief I felt, when I once ran to an onboard call, found a patient barely breathing, with a thready pulse, and realized only after we had stabilized her that no one had questioned me. (Hurrah Brussels Airlines and sorry I kept speaking Kreyol and not French)

I also told these high school students an abbreviated version of the first time I went to the US State Department, when Global Health Security was still a thing.

It felt pretty good to have a seat at the proverbial table...

At the end of the meeting centered on Ebola, I tried to meet up with the others who came from a more medical perspective, who I saw gathering around where we could pick up our phones we'd had to stash...

As I approached, I heard on say to the others, all men, that he "was the only clinical doctor here. The other doctor I don't think she was a real doctor". I heard that word real elongated as if it took minutes to speak.

And, as I said, I'm a doctor. I'm an MD, I'm a PhD. Heck I went to Harvard and I went to Oxford. I was also the only person in this Ebola meeting who had spent an extended period of time working in West Africa on Ebola clinically.

Yet, I immediately thought I must have said something wrong. Do they all think I'm a nurse? that I don't have the experience, the training.

And that's what I told those students to never ever let someone let them think. Never.

Stop, it's not you, it's them

I didn't tell the students about the next time at the State Department.
I introduced myself as Dr Coffee
I was then asked to clarify, Mrs or Miss.
I said I am Dr Coffee.
I was asked again to clarify.
I caught the eye of the one woman in the room and
I said professor, then.

I also didn't tell them that when I was a kid my report card used to be addressed to Dr + Mrs Coffee. I trooped into the principal's office with 12 year old angst. That's wrong, it's Mr + Dr Coffee. They couldn't handle that, so my middle school gave my dad a PhD, Dr + Dr Coffee

And I hope this 2nd guessing that eats at you when you're told you're not a real doctor is something these high school students never have to feel (and hope some become doctors, whatever sort). I hope it's like how I cant imagine women couldn't have their own credit cards

the end. I hope those high school students find this to all be can't-believe-that-was-true history when they're finishing up their degrees.