Thread by @geekgalgroks, Afternoon rambling with JennAKA how did a chemist turn into a developer? [...]

Afternoon rambling with Jenn

AKA how did a chemist turn into a developer?

Inspired by recent viral thread and just ugh.

Long time ago, I wanted to be a chemist. I went to college to get a B.S. in Chemistry.

During this time I worked summers and breaks at a local pharmaceutical as a lab minion.

I prepped solutions, cleaned the lab, took inventory, slowly working my way to research projects.

The chemists were excited to get their own minion!

"We will teach you the right way to do everything! We will order all the safety gear in your size that we normally don't wear!"

And so I got to do "real work" unlike their interns whose work was thrown away at the end of summer

In my college labs, I was cursed with gremlins. Everyone else would get 90% yields and I would get 30% yields (but I had the higher purity product).

So I learned bench top chemistry wasn't for me. I was a wizard with instrumentation and could get results from single drops.

Seriously, I once had to cut my GCMS peak out of paper and do an old school integration to confirm my product existed and was detected.

Also I broke things, and shot a syringe across a lab...

Anywho, there is a reason I stay away from wet chem.

So! I take a computational chemistry course my junior year. Yeah it was a grad level course but I got to play with supercomputers!

I also was a linux nerd.

The first assignment, me and my partner were the only ones able to get the code to run. I hate FORTRAN and CHARMM.

My TAs in other classes were coming to me to ask how I got the code to run.

I taught my partner how to use FTP and VIM. He was emailing his code back and forth.

And so the next semester for giggles, I take C/C++ for scientists and engineers.

I like code. I like instruments. Maybe I'll code my own instruments.

I also take an advanced analytical chemistry course that requires electrical engineering because the professor was so old he helped create the field of analytical chemistry with Kolthoff and was of the opinion if the instrument didn't exist you should know how to build it.

I pass C/C++.

The professor asks at the end of the course for people to apply to be TAs next semester. You just need a B+ or better.

I decide to apply.

My boyfriend at the time berates me.

"You won't get the job! You aren't a CS major! Why do you think you'll get it?"

I shout back, "You forgot one thing. I'm a girl!"

There were no women TAs my semester. I apply, interview, and with confirmation of my grade (A), I get the job.

And so me, and like 11 CS dudes are the TAs.

And that is when I learned CS majors don't know how to explain debugging.

They grew up coding. They would just walk up to a struggling student point to the error in their code and walk away.

I sat down.

"Okay, lets read the error. Line 15? So the compiler isn't smart and usually complains the line after the error, let's look at line 14."

And I would walk the student through debugging.

It was amazing.

And so my office hours slowly became filled with students from all the labs.

I was the TA that taught debugging. Heck, Java students would ask for my help.

I will admit I was a bitch and belittled Java as a language for coffee pots and refrigerators.

But I would give it a try.

Anywho, end of semester.

I have the best rating out of all the TAs. The professor jokes about making me fail a required course in chemistry so I can TA next year.

I did fail my required course, but the summer class of Thermodynamics was at the same time as C/C++.

I graduate! And become a contract chemist at 3M!

Yay!

And I learn that there is a chemistry merry go round in the Twin Cities.

Chemists are shuffled between 3M, Medtronic, and Boston Sci. Those that can, hop off into the small pharmaceutical companies around town.

But nevermind! I am instrument wizard!

And so I run GCMS, HPLC, Karl Fischer, a custom spray program and robot.

I am moved to a new project... Which never was signed.

My old project is cut in half.

I have no project...but they are okay with paying me...

I start looking for a new job.

I interview to be the entire IT department for a small pharmaceutical repackager.

I'm interviewed because I am a chemist (the boss is a chemist who does IT but wanted to get back to chemistry) and because my early GMail address isn't that professional and they wanted to see me.

I make it to the final round but lose out to someone that can speak executive.

He starts. He quits at the end of the first day.

I got it if I want it.

I put in my notice.

Two weeks after I leave 3M, all the contractors are laid off in my division.

So new job. The first day my boss tells me to add myself to Active Directory and give myself all the right permissions.

Oh, and he is only there this week. Next week he is going on vacation for three weeks.

So I have one week to learn how to keep them afloat.

He did promise to check his voicemail on noon on Wednesdays when he would be in the middle of the lake.

So tossed into the deep end, I start documenting and learning and kept them afloat.

And I learned many things, like what users say, want, and need are all different.

That viruses can be purposively trapped in servers because thanks small business server for not having bare metal disks for backups.

And that retired machine language programmers have opinions.

I learned to take responsibility so that my users tell me what actually happen.

I say often, "Computers do exactly what they are told. So if you did something you're not supposed to, it is my fault for not blocking you. If the computer didn't obey you, it is my fault."

Suddenly errors are being reported to me.

I start a IT tips and tricks newsletter with my second saying, "If one person asks a question, several more are thinking it."

And so all is awesome, until the fire nation attacked!

Okay, I left my abusive ex and moved to sunny Fargo!

Cut to messy divorce, living in my mom's spare room, and day drinking so I can deal with applying to jobs. I spend my time chatting with Linux Journal peeps.

One night on a whim, I apply to a job.

The next morning, after I just finished my screwdriver, I get a call back from the job! Can I do a phone interview right now?

I pass and set up an in person interview the next day.

I'm interviewing to be a contractor at Microsoft supporting SharePoint.

I pass and class starts next week.

Long story short. Yay SharePoint! Boo SharePoint!

I'm selected to learn Search!
I'm selected to be a team lead.
I'm selected to teach note taking.
I'm selected to be thrown under the bus repeatedly because I know my shit.

I support SharePoint in other languages.
I talk clients out of quitting.
I learn pirate jokes.
I dare people to eat half mint and half berry oreos.

Management meets with me because I'm teaching the other contractors about employee rights.

My divorce is finalized and I quit!

And I move back to MN and apply for jobs.

And apply.

And apply.

I keep refusing SharePoint jobs because I know too much.

I final walk into an interview for a SharePoint job (I was running low on money) and guess what!

It is my old team lead!

He is fricken excited. The position is for his replacement while he is on military leave.

He goes off to learn how to be military.

I take over.

And they love me.

They don't want to lose me so they decide to make me a programmer.

I agree.

He comes back and is excited I'm here permanently. He has a backup now!

Everyone else is excited because now they have someone that can translate his cranky BOFH speak into something they understand.

The DBA lead tries to get me to become a DBA.

The company declares me being a junior programmer such a success they try it again with someone new.

And I get assigned to sit in the pen of assholes.

Because they shut up when I tell them to.

I get tired of babysitting 40 year old white dudes that think they are God's gift to women and quit.

And now I am a Senior SharePoint consultant.

I have an expense account. I have a budget to give associates gifts for good work.

My boss quits the week I'm hired and I'm placed directly under the national lead.

This is the job that had a pool on me quitting.

Because no one with my experience lasts six months.

I also learn it is managers main job to protect consultants from the national lead.

This is the job where the national lead yelled at me for not grabbing my laptop when the building was evacuated for a gas leak.

This is the job where the national lead yelled at me asking why didn't I tell her I was struggling, and then yelled when I showed her the emails & call

This is the job that made me work 24 hours to get a client back online only to cancel a required in office meeting 30 minutes before hand because my new manager was tired.

She was not on any of the conference calls.

So after a month of crying in the morning while trying to will myself to get dressed and into the office, I quit.

And HR begged for me to stay.

"We'll protect you from her! She has no power on this internal team!"

And that is when I learned about the pool.

As I was saying my goodbyes, one executive told me I was doing the right thing.

His wife had been an engineer, she put him through school, they had cars and kids and one day she came to him and said she was unhappy and wanted to be a teacher.

He said, "Great! Quit your job and go to school, I make enough to support us now. You did it for me, it is time I did it for you."

Everyone else thought I was foolish for quitting that job. Except my husband and that executive.

Anywho, I go to a wedding.

We are seated at the old hippy and IT professional table.

The groom optimized the seating arrangement for conversation. There was an equation and he is an obvious huge math nerd.

I learn of a job at the University.

I apply.

The first interview is ALL women.

I have never been interviewed by a panel of women.

Two directors, a senior developer, and two internal clients.

I'm in awe.

I get to the second round.

Two dudes.

But my wood smoker front end code impresses them.

My husband wrote the backend and APIs, I wrote the front end.

So yay! I am a front end developer at the University!

And my first project is rewriting the student website that hasn't changed since I was a student a decade ago...

I later learn this is a project that had been going on for seven years.

No one could do it. Too many stakeholders.

I did it.

Lots of threads and crying, the senior developer who was my mentor and friend leaves.

The dudes aren't listening to her, she is being passed over for promotion, I see my future.

Thread about being underpaid and not given new employee training here.

Seriously the month before I quit I finally got to have my first meeting with the head of the whole division.

I put in my notice.

Saying my goodbyes, different line director says to me, "I saw what they did to you and her. Your team is going to have to figure out why all the women leave."

I also learn why the front end developer before me left...she was pushed out too.

So anywho switch departments.

West bank is best bank!

Yay! Another senior developer woman!

And you see where this is going.

Launch site that is rewrite of 20 year old web app.

Senior woman leaves.

Management punishes her by giving away her conference ticket but doesn't tell her.

We find out because we read it off her email client she projected in a meeting.

I decide to leave.

But I'll wait until AFTER the conference.

And so I attempt freelancing.

But yeah, I am a self taught developer.

I've been at every level of code.

I love it and hate it at the same time.

I love learning and teaching and connecting people.

I hate when those things aren't seen as IT work.

Glue work is important.

Programming is still a people problem.

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