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I have noticed that when women talk about the misogyny inherent in way people refuse to use our correct titles, there is almost always a man who replies to make an ostensibly gender-neutral comment on when it is and isnât appropriate to stand on formality. (thread)
So Iâd like to make a note to men: Women know that some contexts are formal and some arenât. We know that there are a range of different approaches one can take to when to use a title and when not to.
Please stop explaining that to us. We know.
Please stop explaining that to us. We know.
Some contexts are unambiguously formal, and refusing to use someoneâs correct title in a formal setting is unambiguously insulting.
The way that many people specifically refuse to call *women* by their correct titles is also an insult to women in general.
The way that many people specifically refuse to call *women* by their correct titles is also an insult to women in general.
And this is the case in more ambiguous settings as well.
When men are addressed by their titles and women arenât, thatâs a problem.
When men are addressed by their titles and women arenât, thatâs a problem.
Or, to put it another way: When men are seen as waiving formality and women are seen as having no formality to waive, thatâs a problem.
This is one reason why I avoid certain settings in which no one is allowed to use their title, but in a way that is only really egalitarian on paper.
In that context, everyone maintains awareness of the titles that men arenât using that day â but womenâs titles disappear.
In that context, everyone maintains awareness of the titles that men arenât using that day â but womenâs titles disappear.
I hate title politics. I hate that I have to stand on formality in so many contexts in which it is not freely offered to me.
I also understand that I have to do it anyway.
I also understand that I have to do it anyway.
And I wish that men would stop lecturing me about the downsides of formality.
I know. Really. I know.
And instead of explaining things to me that I already know, I would like men to help me build a world in which I donât have to stand on formality like this. https://twitter.com/rutiregan/status/1338191450505359363
I know. Really. I know.
And instead of explaining things to me that I already know, I would like men to help me build a world in which I donât have to stand on formality like this. https://twitter.com/rutiregan/status/1338191450505359363
I have to stand on formality when waiving formality would be waiving it for all women everywhere.
I would like men who will never face that burden to stop changing the subject to something gender neutral.
I would like men who will never face that burden to stop changing the subject to something gender neutral.
