This week I got really upset (like downright depressed) over something that at its surface just wasn’t a big deal. I couldn’t figure out why it threw me off. Even my therapist said I should work on rolling with such small annoyances. 1/

But then I took a step back and remembered just how much I (we) have had to roll with this year. We’re at nearly 300,000 deaths from covid. I’ve witnessed more suffering and death in the last year than all my other medical training combined. 2/

Whatever political stability the United States had (its always been deeply flawed in my book) has been seriously thrown into doubt as we witness this pathetic but also very dangerous attempted coup. Trump will eventually leave but the damage cannot be undone. 3/

I’m making my home warm and cozy for a Christmas with just me and my husband. We know we are so, so fortunate to have our health, our jobs, our home, our food. But still, not seeing our parents for a Christmas for the first time in our lives, it’s hard. 4/

So I realized that when this little thing at work threw me into despair that I had been on the edge all along. Beating myself up for ‘overreacting’ didn’t help. I needed to give myself grace, compassion and understanding. 5/

When you’ve been rolling with an earthquake or an avalanche or a volcano the balance is so precarious that sometimes it’s the little pebble that throws you off balance. 6/

I’m sharing this because I don’t think I’m alone in any of those feelings. Naming and acknowledging the emotional hell of this year helps me, and maybe it will help you too. We are doing our best. 7/7