It’s 13:12 somewhere, and you love to hear it! https://twitter.com/JoeHeim/status/1337891562106343424

I’m much more sympathetic to cops than my Left Twitter mufos and other fellow travelers, but there’s no telling from minute to minute what the hell cops are doing for the public, or against it, and this obviously has to change.

Underappreciated but big example: Why the fuck do cops go out on patrol? Firefighters, ambulance crews, and air paramedics don’t go out in their trucks and choppers to see if random citizens in random neighborhoods want some help with a medical emergency or a fire.

“Hey. Ya got any cats up in the tree? Just wondering. We’d be bored at the firehouse, that’s all. Also why are you out so late?”

This is why I’m in favor of cops sleeping on the job. If your lazy ass passes out on Rincon Ridge you won’t be awake enough to tell me to get off the overlook, and you’ll also be wasting less government gas.

Some fucking meathead from the SRPD drove by at sunset to tell me and a bunch of other people it was a no parking zone.

Yeah, and I’m Kevin Vickers.

Policing is a profession that takes perjury seriously. That’s why police have carte blanche license to flat-out make shit up and lie on the stand.

Good cops want nothing to do with any of that, but it’s clearer by the month that Anirut Malee would be fired from the average American police department, just like Regina Tasca and that kid in West Virginia.

Anirut Malee probably would have calmed Kajieme Powell down without a word of English and kept Sam Dotson from having to come back into the city from Ferguson for the Shorty and the Big Brothers Community Briefing.

I’ve watched the video from the stationhouse lobby a few times and I’m seriously pretty sure he would have saved Powell’s life, with nothing but body language and tone of voice if that was all he had.

You’d get fired from the parks department for crashing city trucks into trees in sideshow accidents or beating people to death for being disoriented because you’d just roused them from their tents. You’d get fired from the DMV for threatening to murder customers.

It’s okay to make explicit murder threats if you’re a cop out in a tank in Walnut Creek, though!

A responsible government would send in the National Guard to confiscate all equipment from any agency allowing that, at gunpoint if necessary. https://mobile.twitter.com/greg_doucette/status/1268193746329485312

And fuck the brother officer persecution complex. Cops 100% know how to deescalate standoffs with nonviolent protesters. They choose instead to bark out murder threats and commit reprisal maimings.

They’re armed and trained in self-defense martial arts techniques but act like they’ll get beaten up or killed if a driver steps out of the car during a traffic stop or if they let constituents into the lobby at the cop shop.

Deal: Stop being a pansy or find a new job.*

*Public assistance is a valid career move! More valid than usual, in fact!

Here’s a real profile in courage: There’s a nutcase at the corner of Wildred and Stony Point, just up the road from the casino, who occasionally goes out in the yard screaming bloody murder and brandishing a shotgun, as one does. The Sheriff and the CHP do jack shit about him.

If the job sucks that much, go back to the stationhouse to commit your overtime fraud. Shut up and return to quarters.

Oh, and if you’re into soldier cosplay, obey lawful orders and obey the fucking law. At least show some fucking discretion.

ACAB is a broad brush, but it’s better than Punisher Thin Blue Line whining.

So is fucking a cop’s wife.

Oh, yeah: Notice all those Officer Down End of Watch memorials? Half of them involve some shit like a motor vehicle accident or friendly fire.

There’s credible speculation and anecdotal evidence that many deaths in the line of duty are cop-on-cop homicides.

Logging, trucking, fishing, and hauling garbage are all much more dangerous than policing anyway. What a bunch of crybabies. Unbelievably messy bitches.