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Growing up with an #ActuallyAutistic brother in the 80’s was a VERY different experience.
A thread:
for #AllAutistics
CW/ TW: swearing, abandonment, emotional/ verbal abuse, sensitive content.
A thread:
for #AllAutistics CW/ TW: swearing, abandonment, emotional/ verbal abuse, sensitive content.
1.
I was three years old when my brother Dan was born.
When he was 18 months, I remember my parents having a pretty significant fight.
My mother said something was “wrong” with Dan. My Dad said he was “just different...but not broken.”
I’ll NEVER forget those words.
I was three years old when my brother Dan was born.
When he was 18 months, I remember my parents having a pretty significant fight.
My mother said something was “wrong” with Dan. My Dad said he was “just different...but not broken.”
I’ll NEVER forget those words.
2.
1983, my mother requested my brother’s birth records. She told them my brother had “delays.”
Well, aside from his birth certificate, ALL of those records were gone.
I knew my brother was different but I figured he’d be ok. I was 6. He was 3.
This set off a chain of events
1983, my mother requested my brother’s birth records. She told them my brother had “delays.”
Well, aside from his birth certificate, ALL of those records were gone.
I knew my brother was different but I figured he’d be ok. I was 6. He was 3.
This set off a chain of events
3.
My parents argued EVERY single night.
I heard my mother say AWFUL things...
“...he’s a rutabaga...I’m putting him in a home...”
My Dad refused.
He never believed that there was anything WRONG with my brother.
He never gave up on us.
And I NEVER forgot what she said.
My parents argued EVERY single night.
I heard my mother say AWFUL things...
“...he’s a rutabaga...I’m putting him in a home...”
My Dad refused.
He never believed that there was anything WRONG with my brother.
He never gave up on us.
And I NEVER forgot what she said.
4.
The first time we heard the term #Autism, it was accompanied by a list of things that this clinician BLAMED my mother for.
Autism was originally described as a form of childhood schizophrenia.
They compared her to a refrigerator.
And insisted that there was NO hope.
The first time we heard the term #Autism, it was accompanied by a list of things that this clinician BLAMED my mother for.
Autism was originally described as a form of childhood schizophrenia.
They compared her to a refrigerator.
And insisted that there was NO hope.
5.
They ASSUMED #Autism was a psych condition because of “perceived aloneness...and insistence of things staying the same.”
The DSM-III, {1980,} established autism as its own separate diagnosis and described it as a “pervasive developmental disorder.”
Dan was diagnosed.
They ASSUMED #Autism was a psych condition because of “perceived aloneness...and insistence of things staying the same.”
The DSM-III, {1980,} established autism as its own separate diagnosis and described it as a “pervasive developmental disorder.”
Dan was diagnosed.
6.
It defined three distinct features of autism:
a lack of interest in peers, severe impairments in communication and bizarre responses to the environment, all manifesting within the first 24-36 months or age.
His diagnosis changed again in 1987.
This all seemed wrong to me
It defined three distinct features of autism:
a lack of interest in peers, severe impairments in communication and bizarre responses to the environment, all manifesting within the first 24-36 months or age.
His diagnosis changed again in 1987.
This all seemed wrong to me
7.
People threw words around.
Dan was called “mild.”
He was called “slow and limited.”
People were AFRAID of #Autism.
It was treated like something shameful.
I always thought my brother was really neat. I liked how he repeated things.
I used echolalia too.
People threw words around.
Dan was called “mild.”
He was called “slow and limited.”
People were AFRAID of #Autism.
It was treated like something shameful.
I always thought my brother was really neat. I liked how he repeated things.
I used echolalia too.
8.
Although my brother & I were different, we were similar too.
My parents divorced when I was 14.
She remarried my stepdad soon after and they took my brother to both Pennsylvania and Massachusetts.
In Boston, he was part of a study in 1994 at Tufts University.
Although my brother & I were different, we were similar too.
My parents divorced when I was 14.
She remarried my stepdad soon after and they took my brother to both Pennsylvania and Massachusetts.
In Boston, he was part of a study in 1994 at Tufts University.
9.
All of the time he was gone...I felt like a part of me was missing.
We have a younger sister. She was born in 1992. She grew up with Dan.
You wouldn’t believe what a difference there was between the 80’s and early 90’s. #Autism was being diagnosed more.
All of the time he was gone...I felt like a part of me was missing.
We have a younger sister. She was born in 1992. She grew up with Dan.
You wouldn’t believe what a difference there was between the 80’s and early 90’s. #Autism was being diagnosed more.
10.
When I started college, my brother came BACK to my father and I.
Dan did amazingly well! He loved school. He was so happy to be back home but he had some experiences that really changed my mother into a BETTER advocate.
She was finally proud that Dan was her son.
When I started college, my brother came BACK to my father and I.
Dan did amazingly well! He loved school. He was so happy to be back home but he had some experiences that really changed my mother into a BETTER advocate.
She was finally proud that Dan was her son.
11.
It’s pretty sad that it took so long for her to see that Dan was ACTUALLY a gift, and not a curse.
But that’s what parents were being fed.
They were blamed along with environmental causes...but it would be a while before HEREDITY was finally explored.
It’s pretty sad that it took so long for her to see that Dan was ACTUALLY a gift, and not a curse.
But that’s what parents were being fed.
They were blamed along with environmental causes...but it would be a while before HEREDITY was finally explored.
12.
The 80’s weren’t very understanding of my brother, or any other #autistics.
Inclusion was uncommon.
They kept autistic kids and other disabled kids apart from the rest.
That made me so angry.
I hated the word “normal.”
I hated that differences weren’t celebrated.
The 80’s weren’t very understanding of my brother, or any other #autistics.
Inclusion was uncommon.
They kept autistic kids and other disabled kids apart from the rest.
That made me so angry.
I hated the word “normal.”
I hated that differences weren’t celebrated.
13.
Differences were feared.
#Diversity is beautiful. #Inclusion is necessary. And #awareness is imperative.
That’s why I feel so strongly about fighting against myths and dispelling false information. It’s the LIES that caused my family misery...especially for my brother.
Differences were feared.
#Diversity is beautiful. #Inclusion is necessary. And #awareness is imperative.
That’s why I feel so strongly about fighting against myths and dispelling false information. It’s the LIES that caused my family misery...especially for my brother.
14.
Dan lives with me now. He’s 40.
He’s had the same job for almost 20 years. He takes pride in his job.
We do our best to celebrate ALL of those successes with him.
Because HE MATTERS.
#AllAutistics matter.
I am so proud of who he is.
He is kind and thoughtful
Dan lives with me now. He’s 40.
He’s had the same job for almost 20 years. He takes pride in his job.
We do our best to celebrate ALL of those successes with him.
Because HE MATTERS.
#AllAutistics matter.
I am so proud of who he is.
He is kind and thoughtful
15.
Thank you for reading this thread.
I wanted to bring forth some of the things that HAVE changed for the better..and why we have to keep pushing forward!
Inclusion is necessary!
Thank you for reading this thread.
I wanted to bring forth some of the things that HAVE changed for the better..and why we have to keep pushing forward!
Inclusion is necessary!
