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One benefit of Brexit - new jokes can be created by mildly editing old Soviet jokes. For example:
A man walks into a shop. He asks the clerk, “You don’t have any meat?” The clerk says, “No, here we don’t have any fish. The shop that doesn’t have any meat is across the street.”
A man walks into a shop. He asks the clerk, “You don’t have any meat?” The clerk says, “No, here we don’t have any fish. The shop that doesn’t have any meat is across the street.”
Q: Which is more useful – newspapers or televisions?
A: Newspapers, of course. You can't wipe your ass with a telly.
A: Newspapers, of course. You can't wipe your ass with a telly.
Two inmates are comparing notes.
"What did they arrest you for?" asks the first.
"A political crime, of course. I'm a plumber. They summoned me to Westminster to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, 'Hey, the entire system needs to be replaced.' So they gave me 7 years."
"What did they arrest you for?" asks the first.
"A political crime, of course. I'm a plumber. They summoned me to Westminster to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, 'Hey, the entire system needs to be replaced.' So they gave me 7 years."
A frightened man came to MI5 HQ, Thames House.
"My talking parrot has disappeared."
"That's not the kind of case we handle. Go to the police."
"My apologies, of course I know that I must go to them. I am just here to tell you officially that I disagree with the parrot."
"My talking parrot has disappeared."
"That's not the kind of case we handle. Go to the police."
"My apologies, of course I know that I must go to them. I am just here to tell you officially that I disagree with the parrot."
Boris Johnson loses his favourite wooden-crate model bus.
A few days later, Priti Patel sends him a WhatsApp.
"Have you found your bus yet?"
"Yes," he replies. "I found it at a lover's flat."
"Impossible!" exclaims Patel. "Three people have already confessed to this crime!"
A few days later, Priti Patel sends him a WhatsApp.
"Have you found your bus yet?"
"Yes," he replies. "I found it at a lover's flat."
"Impossible!" exclaims Patel. "Three people have already confessed to this crime!"
"Thames House (MI5 headquarters) is the tallest building in London. You can see Ascension Island from its basement."
Why do Boris Johnson’s advisors work in groups of three?
You need one who understands what a percentage is, one who can write slogans for the side of buses, and a third to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.
You need one who understands what a percentage is, one who can write slogans for the side of buses, and a third to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.
Radio London was asked: "When will life be better in the UK?"
Radio London answered: "In the UK, life already has been better."
Radio London answered: "In the UK, life already has been better."
It's 2022; Boris Johnson & Priti Patel are celebrating the anniversary of Glorious Sovereign Brexit.
Patel: "What do you do for fun these days?"
Johnson: "I collect all the jokes about me."
Patel: "We have almost the same hobby! I collect all those who tell jokes about you.”
Patel: "What do you do for fun these days?"
Johnson: "I collect all the jokes about me."
Patel: "We have almost the same hobby! I collect all those who tell jokes about you.”
BREXIT META JOKE
A senior government advisor WhatsApps Kuenssberg and Peston:
"I would just like to correct one of the grim jokes going around implying that Her Majesty's Government sends dissidents into exile. This is patently untrue. Brexit UK uses extraordinary rendition."
A senior government advisor WhatsApps Kuenssberg and Peston:
"I would just like to correct one of the grim jokes going around implying that Her Majesty's Government sends dissidents into exile. This is patently untrue. Brexit UK uses extraordinary rendition."
INTERLUDE: Dr Andrew Corbett, Defence Studies Department, Kings College London, and former Royal Navy nuclear submarine commander, delves into evidence that the Government is actively undermining British democracy (July 2020) https://www.kcl.ac.uk/is-the-government-actively-undermining-british-democracy
Q. How do all political jokes start in Brexit UK?
A. By looking over your shoulder.
A. By looking over your shoulder.
Q. What is 150 yards long and eats beetroot?
A. A queue of Brexit Brits waiting to buy bread.
A. A queue of Brexit Brits waiting to buy bread.
