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If this all goes south, I’m sticking a bunch of nails in a baseball bat and inviting every woman who has ever been called something like “kiddo” by someone like that guy to join me in just a wanton ORGY of smashing.
The anger I’ve accumulated from a lifetime of that PRECISE varietal of BS is really - it borders on the psychotic. 
Here’s a tip for YOU, kiddo! The people in your life who you think are too fun or funny or easygoing to have authority? To achieve as if - heaven forfend - they were *smarter* than *you*? Ding ding ding! They are!
No amount of uptalk policing, tag tucking, grammar correcting, “she’s done her homework!” / “she’s sharp as a tack!!” condescension, or anything like it is going to assuage your vague awareness that underneath your thick skull, there is only the drab lint of mediocrity! 
Four hours and I’m still feeling like I could commit actual violence about this. (I won’t. I have gotten good at screaming and screaming into a pillow and then going for a long walk )
)
