Read on Twitter
If you were at Freaknik, ever drank 5 Incredible Hulks before doing tequila shots, or played "puff puff pass" with 3 motherfuckers you did not know before that day? You can pick a covid vaccine and go. Your immune system has already seen it all. Yes, that too. It's ready.
Like y'all, I understand valid concerns. But I was Black in the 90's & I absolutely know what we did. Whether it was that dress that could get you in anywhere or that time your cousin's baby daddy's friend smoked you out while y'all were supposed to be at the movies? You did it
At least one of your kids is a result of Hypnotiq or Alize? You're not concerned about your life. You already risked it all that time in the Burger King bathroom. Those backflips on mattresses in an alley? They paved the way. Running barefoot in the park? Chile...you good. Go on
Those cheap hot dogs, you know the ones, they were at every cookout & family reunion had more dangerous things in them than any vaccine. Remember that time someone said "possum is good eating" after they gave you a bite of mystery meat? Yeah...so...that was definitely riskier
If you ever ate public school chop suey or that grey meatloaf, your body has been to hell and back again. And it still speaks to you. I ate the eggs in an MRE once. I know that I courted far worse than possible Bell's Palsy that day. And let's be honest, you did too.
You ate at the one hood spot with the dead roach trapped in the window? You ain't worried about staying healthy now. Those cheap ass bottles that you snuck & drank at family parties because none of the adults were touching them? Yeah your liver remembers. It's still mad.
One of your kidneys could write a whole treatise on that year you didn't drink water & lived off caffeine, booze & McDonald's fries. It never fully recovered from "The Sprite at McDonald's just hits different" either. Especially if you were adding vodka & sneaking past your mama
That spot that never had customers? You know the one. Your secret spot. Some dude who never seemed to move was always there & steadily had people coming to see him. Yeah so, you were cover for about 5 RICO eligible businesses. And you kept going back for federal felony fish.
The generation that says "I only pay $500 for a 3 bedroom" & "I don't bother them so they don't bother me" about the ongoing enterprise on their front stoop is going to be just fine. We drank MD 2020 & we're still here. If you ever rode a wooden rollercoaster you're immortal
The food poisoning you got that time you decided week old Thanksgiving food passed the sniff test was honestly more likely to kill you. Don't lie, we all did it. Keep that energy for getting vaccinated.
